Donnerstag
17.12.2009
Half my holidays are over. And whilst I was climbing mountains and eating uber oily food in china, my exam results were patiently awaiting my return.
One thing for sure, I did better than previous semester. But still it is disappointing to see Ds and Cs. Especially for my PS, which I got a C. (In relation to the previous D, this is an improvement)
Aural and Sight Singing was a flop. Got a D for it. Both other cross disciplinary modules (Theatre and Biz Comm) were Cs. The other performing modules and development of concerto were all Bs.
I experienced quite a number of things in China, but nothing worth mentioning. Took a lot of photos, definitely more in both quality and quantity than the Chiangmai trip. But I will probably take some time before I post them up on Facebook or on my photoblog.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Friday, December 04, 2009
"I-want-to-go-for-ITG2010" fund
4th December 2009
Freitagmorgen
Oh gosh. My sleeping hours are weird. Who sleeps at 4am and wakes up at 4pm? *raises hand*
Anyway, I'll be flying off to China on saturday night, will be back in 10 days time and arriving in singapore on the 15th. Not sure what will happen there, but I'm guessing a LOT of walking, and staring at mountains and rivers. *scratches head*
Time to start saving money! Because I want to go for ITG 2010 at Sydney. And that costs me money. Probably $1.2k SGD if I'm thrifty.
Anyone wants to donate to my "I-want-to-go-for-ITG2010" fund?
Performance with Bedok South Secondary School band this coming Saturday. It's been some time I last played with any secondary school bands, and it really is eye opening. The young players these days have quite a bit of talent, just that they don't realise it. I guess the standards really are rising.
I'm still thinking about ITG2010.
Freitagmorgen
Oh gosh. My sleeping hours are weird. Who sleeps at 4am and wakes up at 4pm? *raises hand*
Anyway, I'll be flying off to China on saturday night, will be back in 10 days time and arriving in singapore on the 15th. Not sure what will happen there, but I'm guessing a LOT of walking, and staring at mountains and rivers. *scratches head*
Time to start saving money! Because I want to go for ITG 2010 at Sydney. And that costs me money. Probably $1.2k SGD if I'm thrifty.
Anyone wants to donate to my "I-want-to-go-for-ITG2010" fund?
Performance with Bedok South Secondary School band this coming Saturday. It's been some time I last played with any secondary school bands, and it really is eye opening. The young players these days have quite a bit of talent, just that they don't realise it. I guess the standards really are rising.
I'm still thinking about ITG2010.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Losing, losing, lost.
13th October 2009
Tuesday
After staring at a blank screen for some time, I feel I ought to start somewhere.
Following up from my previous post, I collected my pay yesterday. And the supposed steamboat dinner did not happen. What happened, was an improvised dinner for three - Sherrill, Jess and me, at Xin Wang HK Cafe. Not as exciting as envisioned. Weiwen joined as a while later, after his dance training. And that's about it for Monday.
Something that came up during the conversation yesterday really got my brain cogs working. What am I working for? Money? Or to better myself and gain new knowledge?
I don't know why, but I'm losing it again.
Tuesday
After staring at a blank screen for some time, I feel I ought to start somewhere.
Following up from my previous post, I collected my pay yesterday. And the supposed steamboat dinner did not happen. What happened, was an improvised dinner for three - Sherrill, Jess and me, at Xin Wang HK Cafe. Not as exciting as envisioned. Weiwen joined as a while later, after his dance training. And that's about it for Monday.
Something that came up during the conversation yesterday really got my brain cogs working. What am I working for? Money? Or to better myself and gain new knowledge?
I don't know why, but I'm losing it again.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Post F1
30th September 2009
Wednesday
F1 is over. It was a busy weekend, with long hours of labour and little time to rest. Still, the company that I found on the roofs of the sky suites were invaluable.
Wednesday
F1 is over. It was a busy weekend, with long hours of labour and little time to rest. Still, the company that I found on the roofs of the sky suites were invaluable.
The sun bearing down harshly during setup; the hours of waiting before the first guests start arriving; the roar of the engines as the drivers control their machines from their cockpits.
All these would have been unbearable without the support of each barmen and barmaid at the Sky Terrace. It has been a enjoyable time, and I look forward to F1 2010. Hopefully the same crew will get together and work at Sky Terrace again.
It's been another dry spell on the trumpet for me again. Hopefully the spell will break and there will be progress.
"The tree that is not beaten by rain and baked by sun will never grow."
-Han Yong
All these would have been unbearable without the support of each barmen and barmaid at the Sky Terrace. It has been a enjoyable time, and I look forward to F1 2010. Hopefully the same crew will get together and work at Sky Terrace again.
It's been another dry spell on the trumpet for me again. Hopefully the spell will break and there will be progress.
"The tree that is not beaten by rain and baked by sun will never grow."
-Han Yong
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
This too, shall pass.
9th September 2009
Mittwoch
This too, shall pass.
Here is a story from Krissy's valedictory speech at TP's graduation ceremony 2009.
It was said that, in old Jerusalem, there was a king who had in his possession the most magnificent collection of precious jewels. Yet, he was unsatisfied, for he was told of the existence of a magical ring.
A ring with such power that it could take a happy man’s joy away;
A ring that could take a sad man’s sorrow away;
A ring that had the power to clear confused minds & bring light to a lost soul;
and this ring, had the power to truly deepen joy.
The king offered all his advisors a huge reward and sent them out to scour the world for the magic ring. Years passed and one by one, they came home empty-handed.
The king's humblest, most devoted servant was the last to give up. As he was trudging back to the palace to admit defeat, he made one last stop at a small dusty shop.
When he sadly told the proprietor what he had been seeking for so long, the old man smiled and said," I have the ring." Taking a little box down from a high shelf, he refused payment.
"Your King needs this," he said. "Take it as a gift."
The King tore open the box with trembling fingers. Inside was a plain metal ring! Was this the treasure that he had gone to for so much trouble?
Astonished and angry, the King was about to throw the box across the room when he noticed the Hebrew letters engraved on the ring. He looked more closely.
"Gam zeh ya-avor," it said. "This, too, shall pass."
The King wore the ring for the rest of his life. Whenever he was sad, or intoxicated, or joyful, he would read those words -- and it worked exactly as he had dreamt.
Mittwoch
This too, shall pass.
Here is a story from Krissy's valedictory speech at TP's graduation ceremony 2009.
It was said that, in old Jerusalem, there was a king who had in his possession the most magnificent collection of precious jewels. Yet, he was unsatisfied, for he was told of the existence of a magical ring.
A ring with such power that it could take a happy man’s joy away;
A ring that could take a sad man’s sorrow away;
A ring that had the power to clear confused minds & bring light to a lost soul;
and this ring, had the power to truly deepen joy.
The king offered all his advisors a huge reward and sent them out to scour the world for the magic ring. Years passed and one by one, they came home empty-handed.
The king's humblest, most devoted servant was the last to give up. As he was trudging back to the palace to admit defeat, he made one last stop at a small dusty shop.
When he sadly told the proprietor what he had been seeking for so long, the old man smiled and said," I have the ring." Taking a little box down from a high shelf, he refused payment.
"Your King needs this," he said. "Take it as a gift."
The King tore open the box with trembling fingers. Inside was a plain metal ring! Was this the treasure that he had gone to for so much trouble?
Astonished and angry, the King was about to throw the box across the room when he noticed the Hebrew letters engraved on the ring. He looked more closely.
"Gam zeh ya-avor," it said. "This, too, shall pass."
The King wore the ring for the rest of his life. Whenever he was sad, or intoxicated, or joyful, he would read those words -- and it worked exactly as he had dreamt.
Thursday, September 03, 2009
Crossing rivers
3rd September 2009
Donnerstag
There were three men standing in front of a river.
The first man swam across, and shouted back to the two men on the other bank. 'Come my friends, the grass here is greener than any blade of grass over on your side!'
Tempted by the first man, the second man leapt into the river and swam across. The two man then shouted back to the third man. 'Come my friend, the air here is fresh, more invigorating than any breath taken over on your side!'
Spurred on by his predecessors, the third man plunged into the river and drowned.
Maybe not everyone can achieve the same things.
Somehow, I feel like the drowning man.
Donnerstag
There were three men standing in front of a river.
The first man swam across, and shouted back to the two men on the other bank. 'Come my friends, the grass here is greener than any blade of grass over on your side!'
Tempted by the first man, the second man leapt into the river and swam across. The two man then shouted back to the third man. 'Come my friend, the air here is fresh, more invigorating than any breath taken over on your side!'
Spurred on by his predecessors, the third man plunged into the river and drowned.
Maybe not everyone can achieve the same things.
Somehow, I feel like the drowning man.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
A day off work
30th August 2009
Sonntag
Had a tiring day at the beach barbecuing. But it was nonetheless full of fun and laughter - a luxurious escape from the daily stress. Tomorrow, or rather, later, will be another long day, with job training, followed on with what I hope would be a productive practice session.
Orchestra concert's on Tuesday, and I can't seem to be able to find my bowtie. Gosh. I need to get one soon.
No stories today as my brain's fried from all the heat during the BBQ session.
P.S. Fishing next week?
Sonntag
Had a tiring day at the beach barbecuing. But it was nonetheless full of fun and laughter - a luxurious escape from the daily stress. Tomorrow, or rather, later, will be another long day, with job training, followed on with what I hope would be a productive practice session.
Orchestra concert's on Tuesday, and I can't seem to be able to find my bowtie. Gosh. I need to get one soon.
No stories today as my brain's fried from all the heat during the BBQ session.
P.S. Fishing next week?
Friday, August 28, 2009
Filling Boats
28th August 2009
Freitag
A kind fisherman lived in a village by a lake. The lake had sustained his family and his fellow fishermen for generations, and they all lived harmoniously.
One day, they went out to fish. His friends asked him politely if they could use his boat to store some of their equipment. Being a kindhearted person, he agreed readily. His friends dumped their extra equipment on his boat. They carried on fishing.
His friend's were getting a good haul, and they again asked him politely if they could deposit some of their catch with him. Being a kind person, he agreed again.
This went on, with his friends gradually moving more and more stuff onto his boat, until his boat sank. He got tangled in the net that his friends left on his boat, and he drowned in the lake.
Is your boat being overloaded with the posessions of other people?
Freitag
A kind fisherman lived in a village by a lake. The lake had sustained his family and his fellow fishermen for generations, and they all lived harmoniously.
One day, they went out to fish. His friends asked him politely if they could use his boat to store some of their equipment. Being a kindhearted person, he agreed readily. His friends dumped their extra equipment on his boat. They carried on fishing.
His friend's were getting a good haul, and they again asked him politely if they could deposit some of their catch with him. Being a kind person, he agreed again.
This went on, with his friends gradually moving more and more stuff onto his boat, until his boat sank. He got tangled in the net that his friends left on his boat, and he drowned in the lake.
Is your boat being overloaded with the posessions of other people?
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Two little mice
27th August 2009
Donnerstag
This is a common story which almost everyone has heard before. But here is it again, with a twist to it.
There were two mice who fell into a bucket of milk. The first mouse thought : "Oh, life is always hard on me. I will be dead before the evening is over." Having resigned to his fate, he stopped struggling and prepared to drown.
The second mouse, equally shaken by this unexpected milk bath, kicked the first mouse in the bollocks and made him tread milk. "The last thing I would allow is to have a dead mouse in my milk bath. Quit whining and start swimming."
So with that kick to his bollocks, the first mouse started swimming for dear life.
With both mice working hard at splashing milk, the milk was soon churned to butter, and both of them clambered out of the pail and onto the kitchen floor.
The second mouse was happy to be alive, and scrambled off to the safety of his home. Whereas the first mouse said, "That was hard work! Now I should be entitled to some well deserved rest, after working so hard." With that, he laid down and took a nap.
While the mouse was sleeping, the resident feline chanced by, and decided to kill some mouse for kicks.
And so, the mouse died.
Moral of the story: When you think you have come a long way, and deserve a rest, think again. Is it really time for you to lay back and enjoy a pint of beer?
Donnerstag
This is a common story which almost everyone has heard before. But here is it again, with a twist to it.
There were two mice who fell into a bucket of milk. The first mouse thought : "Oh, life is always hard on me. I will be dead before the evening is over." Having resigned to his fate, he stopped struggling and prepared to drown.
The second mouse, equally shaken by this unexpected milk bath, kicked the first mouse in the bollocks and made him tread milk. "The last thing I would allow is to have a dead mouse in my milk bath. Quit whining and start swimming."
So with that kick to his bollocks, the first mouse started swimming for dear life.
With both mice working hard at splashing milk, the milk was soon churned to butter, and both of them clambered out of the pail and onto the kitchen floor.
The second mouse was happy to be alive, and scrambled off to the safety of his home. Whereas the first mouse said, "That was hard work! Now I should be entitled to some well deserved rest, after working so hard." With that, he laid down and took a nap.
While the mouse was sleeping, the resident feline chanced by, and decided to kill some mouse for kicks.
And so, the mouse died.
Moral of the story: When you think you have come a long way, and deserve a rest, think again. Is it really time for you to lay back and enjoy a pint of beer?
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Burning Houses
23rd August 2009
Sunday
A man lived alone in a cottage by the countryside. He loves his house, and all of his belongings.
One day, a fire broke out in his kitchen and spreaded to his dining room.
The flames were licking at his beautiful oak dining chairs. In a bid to save the chairs, he moved them out of the house. The fire then spreaded to the hall. The man decided to move his antique clock, along with his favourite sofas out to safety. The fire continued spreading, and the man kept saving his belongings, item by item.
When the fire got too intense, he had no choice but to escape outside. It was only then he realised that while saving the different objects in his home, his house was completely razed to the ground.
The moral of this story is that while we are concentrating on the tiny details in life, it is easy to get carried away and lose sight of the big picture.
Have you lost sight of the big picture whilst rumbling through the small details in life?
Sunday
A man lived alone in a cottage by the countryside. He loves his house, and all of his belongings.
One day, a fire broke out in his kitchen and spreaded to his dining room.
The flames were licking at his beautiful oak dining chairs. In a bid to save the chairs, he moved them out of the house. The fire then spreaded to the hall. The man decided to move his antique clock, along with his favourite sofas out to safety. The fire continued spreading, and the man kept saving his belongings, item by item.
When the fire got too intense, he had no choice but to escape outside. It was only then he realised that while saving the different objects in his home, his house was completely razed to the ground.
The moral of this story is that while we are concentrating on the tiny details in life, it is easy to get carried away and lose sight of the big picture.
Have you lost sight of the big picture whilst rumbling through the small details in life?
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
The end of the tunnel
18th August 2009
Tuesday
Knowledge is the key to the future
No, I'm not referring to the end of the Kallang-Paya Lebar Expressway, nor am I referring to our favourite mode of transport - the MRT.
What I am talking about is the end of a life well provided for by my parents. My dad just told me today that after getting this diploma, I can't study anymore. If I want to, i'd have to work part time and support myself through further education.
That made me realise the importance of education. When I was wasting money and time in secondary school and the polytechnic, I never imagined a day where my education chances will just evaporate into thin air.
Have I been taking for granted that which is provided for me, and not making the most out of it?
I wish I had better used my opportunities throughout the years.
Currently I'm cutting back on all expenses, and saving money on food and miscellaneous expenditures. One meal a day, one outing a month. Won't be enough to get me anywhere, but it's a start. Let's see how far I can go.
God knows what lies ahead...
Tuesday
Knowledge is the key to the future
No, I'm not referring to the end of the Kallang-Paya Lebar Expressway, nor am I referring to our favourite mode of transport - the MRT.
What I am talking about is the end of a life well provided for by my parents. My dad just told me today that after getting this diploma, I can't study anymore. If I want to, i'd have to work part time and support myself through further education.
That made me realise the importance of education. When I was wasting money and time in secondary school and the polytechnic, I never imagined a day where my education chances will just evaporate into thin air.
Have I been taking for granted that which is provided for me, and not making the most out of it?
I wish I had better used my opportunities throughout the years.
Currently I'm cutting back on all expenses, and saving money on food and miscellaneous expenditures. One meal a day, one outing a month. Won't be enough to get me anywhere, but it's a start. Let's see how far I can go.
God knows what lies ahead...
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Addictions do kill.
9th July 2009
Thursday
What?! It's already the ninth of July?! Woe be me! The summer vacation is ending!
But what have I done so far? Nothing much really. My practice has not been entirely honest, and it is a far cry from what I had in mind at the start of this vacation. Dive trip was cancelled, and I have yet to optimise my trumpet. And I am thinking of getting new mouthpieces. Hmm. Cashflow problems? I really need some extra income!
OVer the past two weeks I've been trying to remove myself from the computer. But evidently this is not working. (If it was, I wouldn't be updating here.) Addictions can kill.
School's starting soon. Time for a change in lifestyle again. Haven't been doing much during the vacation, and that should not be the case for me. Somehow, I have to condense what I should have accomplished in this 2 months break into the remaining eleven days. Somehow.
Okay. Laptop's going into the storeroom now.
Thursday
What?! It's already the ninth of July?! Woe be me! The summer vacation is ending!
But what have I done so far? Nothing much really. My practice has not been entirely honest, and it is a far cry from what I had in mind at the start of this vacation. Dive trip was cancelled, and I have yet to optimise my trumpet. And I am thinking of getting new mouthpieces. Hmm. Cashflow problems? I really need some extra income!
OVer the past two weeks I've been trying to remove myself from the computer. But evidently this is not working. (If it was, I wouldn't be updating here.) Addictions can kill.
School's starting soon. Time for a change in lifestyle again. Haven't been doing much during the vacation, and that should not be the case for me. Somehow, I have to condense what I should have accomplished in this 2 months break into the remaining eleven days. Somehow.
Okay. Laptop's going into the storeroom now.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Bubbles
25th June 2009
Thursday
Tonight will be a memory too; And a new day will begin
Another weird dream again. I was in some random guy's house, and you were there with a fever in one of the rooms using the computer in the corner. Then you opened a couple of MSN windows and posed me an IQ question, and I'm still trying to figure it out.
Thursday. School's starting in about a month's time. Meanwhile, I am completely penniless. Paying for my advanced open waters on friday, and that costs a whopping $480. How will I survive the next month?
Off to practice.
Thursday
Tonight will be a memory too; And a new day will begin
Another weird dream again. I was in some random guy's house, and you were there with a fever in one of the rooms using the computer in the corner. Then you opened a couple of MSN windows and posed me an IQ question, and I'm still trying to figure it out.
Thursday. School's starting in about a month's time. Meanwhile, I am completely penniless. Paying for my advanced open waters on friday, and that costs a whopping $480. How will I survive the next month?
Off to practice.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Quote by Ignacy Jan Paderewski
18th June 2009
Thursday
‘If I don’t practice for one day, I know it; if I don’t practice for two days, the critics know it; if I don’t practice for three days, the audience knows it.’ – Ignacy Jan Paderewski
That pretty much sums up my thoughts.
Thursday
‘If I don’t practice for one day, I know it; if I don’t practice for two days, the critics know it; if I don’t practice for three days, the audience knows it.’ – Ignacy Jan Paderewski
That pretty much sums up my thoughts.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Reflections
10th June 2009
Wednesday
Reflections from the water will reveal the truth
I sort of lost control over myself today. I got emotional over my results, and a couple of memories that were invoked by certain words. I know the current predicament I am in was brought upon by myself, and I only have myself to blame.
Liquor can't soothe the burns that has already occurred, and beer can't drown out all my frustrations. If I lived in a perfect world, I won't have to worry about the past, about results, about the future, and about the trumpet. But reality never fails to defy my imagined world. With not a single item flowing smooth, it really is a wonder why I keep persisting.
I've had enough of hiding behind excuses. I've had enough of people telling me that I am extremely fortunate to be doing what I love. I've had enough of people dusting me off like I am some worthless thing. I've had enough of being constantly compared to someone, and being looked at in disgust.
I am 20. I am a second year student in NAFA. I play the trumpet at a secondary 2 standard. I am doing badly at my studies. I can't juggle studies and my personal life. I have no idea where my future will lead to.
But fuck that shit.
I am sorry if this post is extremely self-indulgent, but this is about me, and it's all going to be about me from now on.
Wednesday
Reflections from the water will reveal the truth
I sort of lost control over myself today. I got emotional over my results, and a couple of memories that were invoked by certain words. I know the current predicament I am in was brought upon by myself, and I only have myself to blame.
Liquor can't soothe the burns that has already occurred, and beer can't drown out all my frustrations. If I lived in a perfect world, I won't have to worry about the past, about results, about the future, and about the trumpet. But reality never fails to defy my imagined world. With not a single item flowing smooth, it really is a wonder why I keep persisting.
I've had enough of hiding behind excuses. I've had enough of people telling me that I am extremely fortunate to be doing what I love. I've had enough of people dusting me off like I am some worthless thing. I've had enough of being constantly compared to someone, and being looked at in disgust.
I am 20. I am a second year student in NAFA. I play the trumpet at a secondary 2 standard. I am doing badly at my studies. I can't juggle studies and my personal life. I have no idea where my future will lead to.
But fuck that shit.
I am sorry if this post is extremely self-indulgent, but this is about me, and it's all going to be about me from now on.
Saturday, June 06, 2009
Results
6th June 2009
Saturday
3am in the morning...
Here I am, sitting at my laptop, with a litre of Erdinger beer in my belly. I am holding the letter which contains my examination results in my hand. But I am extremely hesitant about opening it.
Here's an update on my academics. I failed Theory 1B due to attendance problems. And I screwed up my Principal Studies module. History should be fine. But apparently, my part was the least prepared and had the least materials in the group. And for group evaluations, I have been consistently getting the lowest out of the group. Aural was pretty much a major fuck up. My ears seemed to be taking an off day during the examination, and I am only confident of getting the rhythm segment perfect.
But I have to face the truth sooner or later right? So here goes nothing.
...
...
...
...
...
Ok. Fuck. I don't feel like updating anymore.
Saturday
3am in the morning...
Here I am, sitting at my laptop, with a litre of Erdinger beer in my belly. I am holding the letter which contains my examination results in my hand. But I am extremely hesitant about opening it.
Here's an update on my academics. I failed Theory 1B due to attendance problems. And I screwed up my Principal Studies module. History should be fine. But apparently, my part was the least prepared and had the least materials in the group. And for group evaluations, I have been consistently getting the lowest out of the group. Aural was pretty much a major fuck up. My ears seemed to be taking an off day during the examination, and I am only confident of getting the rhythm segment perfect.
But I have to face the truth sooner or later right? So here goes nothing.
...
...
...
...
...
Ok. Fuck. I don't feel like updating anymore.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
June Update
4th June 2009
Thursday
The past month was totally horrible. If I was an ostrich, my head would have already been buried under 6 feet of sand.
Exam was a total flop, extreme embarrassment to myself, my teacher, and the standards expected of me. Why? Probably due to nerves. Let me recall what I thought of it immediately after stepping out of the examination room.
Basically whatever I had rehearsed came out only a third done. The comments sheet are released, and I'll do another update on what the officials say.
Been rather hooked on the sun and the beach. I guess this is a prelude to dive trips. I really can't get enough of the sand, sun, and sea. Sadly, no booze.
Had sentosa outing with Y Y Quack, W R Goh, and Z H Koh in the afternoon yesterday. Following the hours of soaking in the dirty water with the slimy sand, we went to meet up with the four girls, namely Christine, Pei Wen, Shirmain and Kosin at Plaza Singapura for dinner.
After a heavy meal at Sakae Sushi, we sat outside Fish n Co and they surprised me and Kenneth with two slices of cake (still sitting in my fridge as I type), and a bag each. I received a really nice puma bag to go along with my puma sneakers. Thanks for the gift!
I think it is time to start saving, and stop wasting money on needless expenditures. In the month of May, I totally blew it, and ended with less than $12 in my bank account, and only about 45cents in my wallet. That isn't even enough to take a bus these days. All the miscellaneous expenditures are unavoidable, but the entertainment expenditures should really be reduced.
Therefore, target for June : to end the month with at least $150 left in my bank account.
Alright. Update ends here. Till the next time I decide to update, please make do by watching Hell's Kitchen on youtube.
Thursday
The past month was totally horrible. If I was an ostrich, my head would have already been buried under 6 feet of sand.
Exam was a total flop, extreme embarrassment to myself, my teacher, and the standards expected of me. Why? Probably due to nerves. Let me recall what I thought of it immediately after stepping out of the examination room.
Went rather badly. Got stiff lips halfway through and the fast piece sounded
tight and lots of mispitches. And I panicked at some of the fingering bits. I
didn't get the style and feel right for the Carmen excerpt, and pulse and
intonation was off. Overall screwed up big time, and air wasn't flowing right.
Basically whatever I had rehearsed came out only a third done. The comments sheet are released, and I'll do another update on what the officials say.
Been rather hooked on the sun and the beach. I guess this is a prelude to dive trips. I really can't get enough of the sand, sun, and sea. Sadly, no booze.
Had sentosa outing with Y Y Quack, W R Goh, and Z H Koh in the afternoon yesterday. Following the hours of soaking in the dirty water with the slimy sand, we went to meet up with the four girls, namely Christine, Pei Wen, Shirmain and Kosin at Plaza Singapura for dinner.
After a heavy meal at Sakae Sushi, we sat outside Fish n Co and they surprised me and Kenneth with two slices of cake (still sitting in my fridge as I type), and a bag each. I received a really nice puma bag to go along with my puma sneakers. Thanks for the gift!
I think it is time to start saving, and stop wasting money on needless expenditures. In the month of May, I totally blew it, and ended with less than $12 in my bank account, and only about 45cents in my wallet. That isn't even enough to take a bus these days. All the miscellaneous expenditures are unavoidable, but the entertainment expenditures should really be reduced.
Therefore, target for June : to end the month with at least $150 left in my bank account.
Alright. Update ends here. Till the next time I decide to update, please make do by watching Hell's Kitchen on youtube.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
das ist nicht gut!
10th May 2009
Sunday
I held your hand, but you asked me to go. I sensed the bitterness in your words and the acidity in your gaze. Do you really hate me so?
I have been having sleepless nights, probably because of the upcoming exam on monday. My mind is running all over the place, and when it does get settled and I drift off to sleep, I get weird dreams.
I still can't get the triplets in Danza Movida to move in time. And my articulation is barely under control. When it comes to excerpts, Pines of Rome scares me. It really scares the shit out of me. How do I play high and controlled, with the feeling of such openess and freedom, and the vision of a breeze blowing through a pine forest?
I know I am panicking. I have every good reason to panic. I screwed up my scales last sem, and got a C. Now, I have to do better than that and get at least a B. But its just a horrid nightmare repeating itself over and over again. Everyday I see myself walking in to the pink room with Joseph (the pianist), and then messing up the entrance to piu mosso and rushing at all the triplets and stuff. It's just freaky.
Oh gosh. I hope everything runs smoothly tomorrow.
Sunday
I held your hand, but you asked me to go. I sensed the bitterness in your words and the acidity in your gaze. Do you really hate me so?
I have been having sleepless nights, probably because of the upcoming exam on monday. My mind is running all over the place, and when it does get settled and I drift off to sleep, I get weird dreams.
I still can't get the triplets in Danza Movida to move in time. And my articulation is barely under control. When it comes to excerpts, Pines of Rome scares me. It really scares the shit out of me. How do I play high and controlled, with the feeling of such openess and freedom, and the vision of a breeze blowing through a pine forest?
I know I am panicking. I have every good reason to panic. I screwed up my scales last sem, and got a C. Now, I have to do better than that and get at least a B. But its just a horrid nightmare repeating itself over and over again. Everyday I see myself walking in to the pink room with Joseph (the pianist), and then messing up the entrance to piu mosso and rushing at all the triplets and stuff. It's just freaky.
Oh gosh. I hope everything runs smoothly tomorrow.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Just bad
6th may 2009
Wednesday
You are deemed to have failed. Chew on that.
I have been feeling pretty fucked up all the while now. Am I giving myself too much stress? But even so, it is simple things like pulse and rhythm. No excuse to mess those up. And also it has been almost 16 months since my embouchure change, and guess what? I am still hiding behind that excuse! Oh would you just give me a slap for that please?
School is nasty these days. I have just failed my Theory Ib even before sitting for the paper. Due to attendance issue, "you are deemed to have failed this module". And with certain staff within the music department, hostility is still running high among the students. Oh, my attendance failure has certainly got to do with them.
But I gave up caring shit about what goes on in school. What is the point of making a whole lot of fuss and making everyone unhappy, but you still cannot play your principle instrument? I have decided that losers will just have to shut the fuck up and simply take all the shit that is dished out to them.
So, one night before the supposedly Theory Ib examination day, I am here blogging, and whining about shit. That makes me an even bigger loser. And then I will whine more. Thus begins the endless cycle of being a big loser.
Funny how some people can make others feel totally worthless just by doing what they do. It just comes so naturally, that even with you hard at work, it seems that never in 27153 years will you be able to produce the same quality with such ease.
Totally clueless about my future. All is fucked? Just the norm.
Wednesday
You are deemed to have failed. Chew on that.
I have been feeling pretty fucked up all the while now. Am I giving myself too much stress? But even so, it is simple things like pulse and rhythm. No excuse to mess those up. And also it has been almost 16 months since my embouchure change, and guess what? I am still hiding behind that excuse! Oh would you just give me a slap for that please?
School is nasty these days. I have just failed my Theory Ib even before sitting for the paper. Due to attendance issue, "you are deemed to have failed this module". And with certain staff within the music department, hostility is still running high among the students. Oh, my attendance failure has certainly got to do with them.
But I gave up caring shit about what goes on in school. What is the point of making a whole lot of fuss and making everyone unhappy, but you still cannot play your principle instrument? I have decided that losers will just have to shut the fuck up and simply take all the shit that is dished out to them.
So, one night before the supposedly Theory Ib examination day, I am here blogging, and whining about shit. That makes me an even bigger loser. And then I will whine more. Thus begins the endless cycle of being a big loser.
Funny how some people can make others feel totally worthless just by doing what they do. It just comes so naturally, that even with you hard at work, it seems that never in 27153 years will you be able to produce the same quality with such ease.
Totally clueless about my future. All is fucked? Just the norm.
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Breakthrough!
5th April 2009
Sunday
Butterflies and hurricanes.
Checking in again after a long absence. And I have a feeling the next update would take quite a bit of time as well.
There has been some progress in certain matters. Mood has been improving as well. And I do realise that mood has a lot to do with overall performance and attitude. Once I had a slight revelation in my playing, my mood brightened a little, and all of a sudden, everything that has been going haywire in the past two years fell right in line.
But what is immensely difficult is the manipulation of your feelings. How can I stay focused in a positive attitude constantly? How can I tackle the multiple hurdles that stand against me, without falling to anger and frustration?
Exams are coming soon. Submissions are coming soon. And this semester, I have to do a hell lot better than what I did previously. Not just for the results, but also to prove to myself that I have a future, and I am better than everyone else.
Not surprisingly, there are a lot of resentment going on in school. Against the workloads, against the lack of practice facilities, against the lack of consistant lessons, etc. But still, half of it is blown way out of proportion, and the other half, simply a by-product of stress and anger.
Certain issues in the past couple of weeks have been blown up to rather big. And is causing quite a lot of tension and friction among some people. Am I being selfish, or two faced by simply listening to all sides of the story and staying focused on my target? But bystanders can see the reasons for the decisions made by my colleagues.
Quoting a certain someone, "a teacher is not simply one you learn from, but a mentor that guides you through life." Which I think is rather true. In a way, good educators teach students skills that will be of use in the future in different situations.
Back to recent events, Xinmin Secondary School Symphonic Band (XMSB) has attained a Gold with Honours in the recent SYF 2009. Quite an impressive record, considering that the band sounds weird when broken down into sections. But still, kudos to them. Hope ticket sales will skyrocket through the ceiling!
Do drop by and support yeah?
Xinfony IX
http://www.esplanade.com.sg/whats_on/programme_info/xinmin_symphonic_band/index.jsp
Sunday
Butterflies and hurricanes.
Checking in again after a long absence. And I have a feeling the next update would take quite a bit of time as well.
There has been some progress in certain matters. Mood has been improving as well. And I do realise that mood has a lot to do with overall performance and attitude. Once I had a slight revelation in my playing, my mood brightened a little, and all of a sudden, everything that has been going haywire in the past two years fell right in line.
But what is immensely difficult is the manipulation of your feelings. How can I stay focused in a positive attitude constantly? How can I tackle the multiple hurdles that stand against me, without falling to anger and frustration?
Exams are coming soon. Submissions are coming soon. And this semester, I have to do a hell lot better than what I did previously. Not just for the results, but also to prove to myself that I have a future, and I am better than everyone else.
Not surprisingly, there are a lot of resentment going on in school. Against the workloads, against the lack of practice facilities, against the lack of consistant lessons, etc. But still, half of it is blown way out of proportion, and the other half, simply a by-product of stress and anger.
Certain issues in the past couple of weeks have been blown up to rather big. And is causing quite a lot of tension and friction among some people. Am I being selfish, or two faced by simply listening to all sides of the story and staying focused on my target? But bystanders can see the reasons for the decisions made by my colleagues.
Quoting a certain someone, "a teacher is not simply one you learn from, but a mentor that guides you through life." Which I think is rather true. In a way, good educators teach students skills that will be of use in the future in different situations.
Back to recent events, Xinmin Secondary School Symphonic Band (XMSB) has attained a Gold with Honours in the recent SYF 2009. Quite an impressive record, considering that the band sounds weird when broken down into sections. But still, kudos to them. Hope ticket sales will skyrocket through the ceiling!
Do drop by and support yeah?
Xinfony IX
http://www.esplanade.com.sg/whats_on/programme_info/xinmin_symphonic_band/index.jsp
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
A bucket of ice, a bottle of wine.
24th March 2008
Tuesday
I think I need to stop and look at what I am doing. Evidently, my methods now are simply producing a steadily rising blood pressure, and increasingly frequent bouts of tension headaches.
What exactly is wrong?
I need a cask of chilled wine. Coupled with a weekend on a deserted island.
Tuesday
I think I need to stop and look at what I am doing. Evidently, my methods now are simply producing a steadily rising blood pressure, and increasingly frequent bouts of tension headaches.
What exactly is wrong?
I need a cask of chilled wine. Coupled with a weekend on a deserted island.
Friday, March 20, 2009
20th March 2008
Friday
Fucked.
It has been a long walk since where I have begun, but everything is still fucked. Once, there was a glimpse of hope in the future. Maybe, just maybe, I could get a seat in an orchestra one day. But looking at the way things are progressing, I just get a blank in my mind. Why am I such a dreamer? Why do I have such high aspirations, but when I set out to do it, everything just decides to fuck me upside down?
Every inch of progress I make meets with additional, or recurring problems that decides to fuck me another two feets backwards. I seriously want to slit my wrists and end this pathetic mistake called my life.
I feel completely and utterly useless, worthless and hopeless.
Friday
Fucked.
It has been a long walk since where I have begun, but everything is still fucked. Once, there was a glimpse of hope in the future. Maybe, just maybe, I could get a seat in an orchestra one day. But looking at the way things are progressing, I just get a blank in my mind. Why am I such a dreamer? Why do I have such high aspirations, but when I set out to do it, everything just decides to fuck me upside down?
Every inch of progress I make meets with additional, or recurring problems that decides to fuck me another two feets backwards. I seriously want to slit my wrists and end this pathetic mistake called my life.
I feel completely and utterly useless, worthless and hopeless.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Fouler than a foul fowl.
Tuesday
24th February 2009
Status quo: SNAFU
My views on trouble still remains the same. Everything will go wrong at the same time, including rehearsals and reports.
Semester 2 has been a nightmare thus far. Excluding the usual PS workload, there is Wind band, Brass band, Trumpet choir, Choir, all spamming rehearsals without an end to it. And the pieces are not exactly 1 + 1 standard. Thank goodness trumpet choir is done, and no more practices have been scheduled for this term. At least that is a fine break to this hectic, crazy schedule that everyone has been living on for the past weeks.
While living on sugar-highs and minimal amount of sleep, it is inevitable that performance goes downhill, and irregularities in mood patterns skyrocket. And as far as I am concerned, I have not been the meekest geek that I should be. Much as I'd hate to admit it, I'm running on a fuck-it-all attitude now. That is something I ought to tackle immediately, given that my other priorities are settled and sent off to where they belong - light years away from my current location.
Concerning the alumni band, I'm not doing much, but having certain people text me, and accuse me of not sending out a reminder of the change in practice schedule, really pisses me off. I have half the mind of throwing all these admin shit to some other people, and just settle for a normal membership, instead of having to play puppet leader in an organisation where people take things for granted.
If you haven't already figured it out by now, I am utterly and thoroughly in a foul mood, and more shit from anyone might just warrant a week's worth of coal face and so much sarcasm you'd wish you could just strangle me then and there.
"That that is left behind will eventually catch up with you."
-Han Yong
24th February 2009
Status quo: SNAFU
My views on trouble still remains the same. Everything will go wrong at the same time, including rehearsals and reports.
Semester 2 has been a nightmare thus far. Excluding the usual PS workload, there is Wind band, Brass band, Trumpet choir, Choir, all spamming rehearsals without an end to it. And the pieces are not exactly 1 + 1 standard. Thank goodness trumpet choir is done, and no more practices have been scheduled for this term. At least that is a fine break to this hectic, crazy schedule that everyone has been living on for the past weeks.
While living on sugar-highs and minimal amount of sleep, it is inevitable that performance goes downhill, and irregularities in mood patterns skyrocket. And as far as I am concerned, I have not been the meekest geek that I should be. Much as I'd hate to admit it, I'm running on a fuck-it-all attitude now. That is something I ought to tackle immediately, given that my other priorities are settled and sent off to where they belong - light years away from my current location.
Concerning the alumni band, I'm not doing much, but having certain people text me, and accuse me of not sending out a reminder of the change in practice schedule, really pisses me off. I have half the mind of throwing all these admin shit to some other people, and just settle for a normal membership, instead of having to play puppet leader in an organisation where people take things for granted.
If you haven't already figured it out by now, I am utterly and thoroughly in a foul mood, and more shit from anyone might just warrant a week's worth of coal face and so much sarcasm you'd wish you could just strangle me then and there.
"That that is left behind will eventually catch up with you."
-Han Yong
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Take 5
24th January 2009
Saturday
I am halfway through my spring cleaning of my room. Almost everything is going down the chute, and the amount of junk accumulated never fails to surprise me. This year, I am tossing old cellphones(irreparable), old books, and almost all of my lecture notes from my poly days. Finally getting rid of all those crap. My table's pretty empty now, if you were wondering about it. But the overall state of the room is still quite cluttered.
The first two weeks of school is finally over. And this long weekend is much needed. But due to the sudden attack of flu bugs, this festive period has its mood greatly dampened. Hopefully, I'll recover by the time school starts, so I can get in some decent practice.
2009 is settling in. Everything's more or less up and running now. And truth be told, I'm extremely excited about the new year. With all the planned events and the yet to be discovered potential of the new year, I feel that everything is picking up rather quickly.
Oh and if I haven't got my dates wrong, Krissy is returning from the Maldives today. Exciting! Looking forward to another dive soon.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Mountains.
6th January 2009
Tuesday
Wonders of the natural world
My routine has been thorougly trashed due to my inconsistency. And it is the last week of holidays before semester two starts. Two concerts right before school starts - NAFA brass band + Justbrass on Saturday and Ngee Ann Polytechnic Band on Sunday. I have a bad feeling about these concerts though. Hope it turns out fine.
Lots of weird dreams recently, and also a couple of unfounded apprehensions about this new year. I just realised I typed 2008 instead of 2009 for the date of this post.
Anyway, what about mountains? I was listening to Eine Alpensinfonie by Richard Strauss and the sheer intensity of the piece is just beautiful.
Maybe one day I will scale the alps and see for myself what lies at the summit.
"When you're at the foot of the mountain, the natural instinct is to look up. Where do you look when you're at the summit?"
-Han Yong
Tuesday
Wonders of the natural world
My routine has been thorougly trashed due to my inconsistency. And it is the last week of holidays before semester two starts. Two concerts right before school starts - NAFA brass band + Justbrass on Saturday and Ngee Ann Polytechnic Band on Sunday. I have a bad feeling about these concerts though. Hope it turns out fine.
Lots of weird dreams recently, and also a couple of unfounded apprehensions about this new year. I just realised I typed 2008 instead of 2009 for the date of this post.
Anyway, what about mountains? I was listening to Eine Alpensinfonie by Richard Strauss and the sheer intensity of the piece is just beautiful.
Maybe one day I will scale the alps and see for myself what lies at the summit.
"When you're at the foot of the mountain, the natural instinct is to look up. Where do you look when you're at the summit?"
-Han Yong
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