Tuesday, March 24, 2009

A bucket of ice, a bottle of wine.

24th March 2008
Tuesday

I think I need to stop and look at what I am doing. Evidently, my methods now are simply producing a steadily rising blood pressure, and increasingly frequent bouts of tension headaches.

What exactly is wrong?


I need a cask of chilled wine. Coupled with a weekend on a deserted island.

Friday, March 20, 2009

20th March 2008
Friday

Fucked.

It has been a long walk since where I have begun, but everything is still fucked. Once, there was a glimpse of hope in the future. Maybe, just maybe, I could get a seat in an orchestra one day. But looking at the way things are progressing, I just get a blank in my mind. Why am I such a dreamer? Why do I have such high aspirations, but when I set out to do it, everything just decides to fuck me upside down?

Every inch of progress I make meets with additional, or recurring problems that decides to fuck me another two feets backwards. I seriously want to slit my wrists and end this pathetic mistake called my life.

I feel completely and utterly useless, worthless and hopeless.