HAPPY
BOXING
DAY
everyone! :)
get somebody to box now!

Gah.. Someone shoot me. I wanna get bruised!!! I wanna slam my body against the floor!! I wanna feel the hard flooring beneath me!!! Ugh.. I'm itching to break. Please.. Any sessions please jio me before I start work!!!

Nobody likes losing. But there has to be a loser in every game or competition. I've decided that the person won't be me. Watch out ppl! I'm determined to overtake all of you!

Seems like I've become notorious overnight. Thanks Siewyuen. Anyway, I want to clarify some things here.

Fiction : I'm treating Leon as a spare tyre.
Fact : If you believe that, then you don't know me well enough. Am I the kind of person that would treat my friends in such a way? Well, if you don't know, you shouldn't go around condemning people. Especially people you're not really close with.

I'm quite pissed that I'm being labelled as a freaking, shameless bastard. Ah well, what can I say? Maybe I am one, but I'm not gonna accept it from just any bitches down the road.

Oh.. If anyone has any problems with me in the future, confront me straight. Mind games don't work.

Here to kill some time... It's 3.45am and I'm rotting away at the band chalet. 3rd night and its just soo boring!! Ugh..

I'm currently out of breaking action coz of my carelessness.. Last night while cycling, my slippers slipped off and I scraped my shin against the pedals of the bike. That explains the tattoo on my right leg. zzzzz. My dad lost my beanie in china. No beanie = No headspin
Guess the next time I can really session with the bboys will be when my leg recovers. Hope it doesn't leave any scars..

Can't think of much to write here... My creative juices has been running dry for quite some time now... Argh.. Off to find something else to do... zzZZZZzzz.....

My blog is seriously ROTTING! Omg... No posts for so long.. Argh.. So I'm here for a quick one.

Monday was prom night. Freakin fun. Woots! Not to mention the beautiful ladies and dashing young gentlemen present. The dinner was supposed to begin at 6.30. But as usual, people were late and dragging things behind schedule. So we started at around 7.30.

The 8 course dinner felt short. = / But the games were fun, although lame. haha.. wo gen ni shuo, ni bu yao gen bie ren shuo. ru guo ni gen bie ren shuo, wo yi hou jiu bu gen ni shuo. wo hai hui gen bie ren shuo, wo gen ni shuo le yi hou, ni dao chu gen bie ren shuo. blah blah..

But the highlight was still the dance at the end of the dinner. So fun! Great place to chill man. And it was at that time we, the Bboys of Xinmin Secondary School, struck! Haha.. Neo went down into six steps, then into a handstand. And moved to the side. Following him was Leon who went in and did some footwork and handglide. I was putting on my beanie at that time. Then after Leon siam-ed to one side, I went in and did a bit of footwork and backed off and then went back in into a headstand position followed by a headspin! WOOo!! First time I did such a nice headspin. Heh. According to Neo, it lasted 4 rounds? somewhere there.

Ah well, I GTG. continue posting next time then.. = )

YEA!!!
2 more papers and we will all be liberated!
CHEERS!!

party party everyone!
:)

btw,
anyone noe how to solve problems like this?
http://aiyober.blogspot.com
this is ber's bloggie.
as you can see,
if u click the link and see..
DUH
-______-
the blog navagation bar is
CONGRUGATED at the top of the post.
anyone noes how to solve this?
:)
pls help alright?

O'levels gonna start on
7th November
:)

MUG HARD EVERYONE!
this is the last lap.
and after this we will all be
FREE!

Best of luck!
Good luck!
and take care everyone!
a healthy body is equals to
A WORKING brain!

JIA YOU!

SOMERSAULT!

BACKFLIP!

HEADSTAND!

SPIN!

spin and spin and
spin and spin.
never stop spinning!
haha.
good stress reliever!
:)
o's pratical coming le.
in 5 days time!
and its also BER's birthday on tt day!
haha..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BER!
:)
*hugs*

Well, my schedule is pretty packed for these few months.. Apart from studying for the Os, there are many events coming up for me.

22nd October - Alumni dinner performance.. I'm not sure if I'll be playing for this.. 'Cause its for the alumni band, X-Winds, and I'm not officially part of them. Furthermore, I have tuition in the afternoon on that day. I'll just have to wait and see.

5th November - Drama center performance? I was just informed today. Philyouth will be having a joint performance with Philwinds at the new National Library Board Building. Will I play? I want to play for this event. But its on a Saturday too and I might have tuition in the afternoon. Well, I'll confirm my tuition schedule soon. Hope all goes well.

4th December - Kim Seng Wind Symphony Concert.. I'll be playing for this concert unless the SL from KSWS trumpet section tells me that they do not need me there. The repertoire is challenging and that makes playing for the concert so attractive.. I'm tempted.

8th - 11th December - Thailand trip with Philyouth! Well, the namelist isn't confirmed yet. And I'm not sure about the details. But its bound to be great fun! And of course, a great learning experience.

O's coming.
BUT.
Everyone should remain optimistic.
Because staying happy,
improves the brain's ability to absord knowledge!
:)
Stay happy!
and Smile always!

We are RUBBER BANDS.
ALL being s t r e t c h e d to our limits.
Once overstretched we SNAP!

right?
work hard.
but rmb to rest too.
:)
cos we're not robots!
so stay calm everyone.
don be too stressed out.
we can all :)

if you over study..
u'll get this!

haha~
so rest well!
and study smart!

Am I going nuts or am I going crazy? I'm starting to mug for O levels and its really messing up my mind now.. This is crap. O levels are a couple of weeks away and I'm about to snap. UGH.

Woah! its me again!
-_________-

haha..
i 'm here to add more vibrance to the previous post!
:)
haha.
oh btw.
my name is not ah^ber ok?
haha.
today, i am going to talk about a very important matter.
I HATE THIEFs!
their hand should be CHOPPED off!
dirty hands!
they make ppl feel bad,
make ppl feel sad.
They should all go to hell.
Don't worry,
they WILL go to hell.
They won't even have a slightest chance of seeing heaven.
Asshoolllesss..
no! they dun even have asshoolleess..
HAHAHA.
that was pretty vulgar.
BUT, oh well..
they deserve it..
*hmph*

WoohoO!!! So many things happening. Ok. Finally this post is by me!!!!! Not the silly ah^ber. Hahha.. = )

Last wednesday, Matthew, Eugene and Me went to Bugis and bought our trumpetS!!! YEAH!! haha.. Mine is a Challenger 3137/2 silver plated.. $2K.. What is my comment on it? It RAWKZ. We tried it last sunday and found it better than bach instruments. Amazing!! Good projection, solid sound throughout low, middle and upper registers. Nice!

I brought the trumpet to KSWS today to try it out.. Sound was sweet~ Oh.. KSWS playing quite challenging pieces for their concert... If philyouth trip doesn't clash with the concert date, I think I'll be playing for that concert.

Oh well, time for me to go do more A maths. O levels are coming. Till I write again. Ciao~

Its the weekend again.

Time seems to pass so quickly.
in the blink of an eye,
we will all be sitting in the examination hall.
haha.
work hard everyone!
btw,
can anyone tell me,
how many more days to o levels?
eh..
i lost count.
:P
haha.
ber lost count too.
:P
She is one silly idiot.
-_________-
haha.
saw her at the coffeeshop today.
she suddenly pop over our table.
and ask huiling, angelia, bonn, siyang and me to
:)
hurr.
funny huh.
Ooo..
study ahs.
:)

29 SEPTEMBER
IS A FULL DAY OFF!

haha.
we hardly get this kind of offers!
Enjoy it!
:)
hmm.
i'm sure you guys have gotten back most of yr papers.
Right?
Whether you're satisified with it or not,
this is only the prelims!
We must all work
SUPER
DUPER
ULTRA
ULTIMATE
HARD
for the O's!
its the last sprint!
:)
must pia!
den will win!

Hee.
anyways.
i think,
colours indeed brighten up our lives!
Without colour,
everything will be black and white!
Can you imagine?
The trees, the flowers, the favourite shirt you have
will all be BLACK n WHITE!!
*gasps*
Therefore,
i conclude!
COLOURS are an important component of our lives!
so,
i will make it a point to colour my post!
:)
yeah!
Everyone should do that too!
*cheers*

Woah!
JUST TO KEEP U GUYS INFORM!!
its 42 days to O levels?
Are you excited?
Lols.
i doubt so.
Anyways,
WORK HARD!
this is the last lap!
:)

Haiz. Forget it la. Sorry everyone for all the trouble. From now on, I shall keep my mouth shut and not tag any tagboards other than my own.

2 full years of acting? LOLZ. what crap. It's making my balls laugh. ZzZ.
You want to be shown as the victim, you go ahead and do it. I don't care.

Anyway, no point getting white hairs from fretting over such an unimportant matter. Otherwise, my **UGLY** hair would be ruined. = D Don't want to make some people so happy that my already ugly hairdo will be even fugly-er.

Today had great fun shopping for BBQ neccessities with Angelia, Cheryl, Wen Lin, Hui Ling and Jason. Then lugged all the stuff over to Jason's house. Then played mahjong. I sort of lost the passion for mahjong already. No idea why.. After that, I chiong-ed C&C Renegade! SO FUN!! OMg.. Got to borrow it from Jason some day..

Can't wait for the BBQ tomorrow.. It'll be great! Well, save some faces which I rather not see.

That's all for today. Till the next time I blog. Ciao = D

Wooooooo~~ SUch a fun holiday. There's almost 0 trips out of the house except for those to school. What fun! I'm pretty much bored to death here..

I was trying to install WC3 frozen throne just now and suddenly i realised my FT cd was... GONE!! AH!!!! Cannot even play DOTA on Bnet.. -.-ll
So.. whoever's holding on to my FT cd now.. can return me pls? So I can finally train my DOTA-ing skills. = D

I managed to psycho my mum into helping me pay half the amount for a trumpet! Weee~ Finally I can get my own trumpet!!! So now I'm looking out for good models..

Today's tuesday. Yesterday's monday. There was geog lessons yesterday.. after which me, tiger and phatass went to tiger's house to do some **Stuff** (Nothing indecent please..) and play CS.. Me and Phatass was busily trying to get tiger banned from the Joker server which sadly, did not do so.. Haha. So fun trying to get him banned. Tactics used included spamming, team flashing, smoking and even mod scolding! How fun! X)

Lolz. Great class huh? Don't help at least let me know la. Those that really really know me will know that I only spout vulgarities under two circumstances. One, joking around with my FRIENDS. Yes FRIENDS. Not CLASSMATES. Not some guy who just happens to pass by in my life. Two, when I'm utterly disappointed or pissed off. In today's case, I'm disappointed in my misplaced trust and I'm pissed off that I didn't learn from my lesson from before.

This is it. This is the limit. This post maybe hurting to some, but I just gotta say what's on my mind. Esp on this class.

I shall start with the clique that I used to be in.

HuiQi - Stop acting cute can? You think you very big issit? Act cute already then just bully other people. Always act cute act cute and then bully people like Lee Xuan, Marchand and Loga. I dislike people like you. Yes. That is the fact.

Krissy - Making use of people? Stop it. Stop taking advantage of others because they like you and are willing to be made use of. It's hurting to the person you know?

Qing Lun - You are one of the only few that I trust and I treat as my friend. I hope you will stop letting yourself being used by our DEAR classmates.

Izaac - I didn't like you since the beginning, and I still don't. I hoped we could be better friends, but I was wrong in my judgement. Self-centred. Can't be bothered to think about other's feelings. Thats mainly how I see you as. You think you are very nice in your words? Stop deluding yourself. Your words are equally demoralising and hurting as vulgarities. At least vulgarities just make a person angry. Words scar a person's confidence. And I think you are doing just that.

Next there is the Shengle gang. I find them more worthy friends than some of the people out there. At least, they help you when you're in trouble.

Clarence - Loyal and worthy friend. Thanks for sticking by me in times of need. When you want to cut hair? My hair is looooong...

Then the other people not in any major cliques...

Loga - Another great friend to have. I really mean great. Thanks for encouraging me on when I had ZERO motivation to start studying... But, grow up soon. Your mental age should suit your physical age.

Jason - You are a great friend. A person to share troubles with. But I don't really trust you. And I can't stand the way you treat everyone and everything. The world does NOT revolve around you.

Marchand - You're a little to straight at times don't you think? Relax and just have fun. And it is always good to have dreams. Hope we can work together in the future. = )

Lee Xuan - Why do you let people look down on you? Prove to them that you are not what you present yourself as. Show them with 6 points for your L1R5. Do it! Be daring to fight back. Don't let people trample on you.

Sheri - Sometimes you are equally discriminating as others. Discriminating others isn't good. Learn to look at a person's good points and life will be a much happier place.

IF what you see above doesn't please you, then too bad. It's what I've been keeping inside. For a long long time now.

I remember what Sheri said to me sometime ago. She said that I could handle whatever situations I'm thrown into.

How true is it? I can handle situations only till a certain extent. Until the point where I can take it no more, then I just blow up.

Sometimes, the way I treat life now really freaks me out... Its like everything doesn't matter. Life or death? Ain't it all the same?

I lost $150 recently. But my feelings wasn't really affected! WTF? Its not $1.50 or $15. $150 mind you. And I treated it like.. "Well, no use crying over spilt milk"... -.-!!

I'M FREAKING MYSELF OUT!!!

Now I sit here in front of the computer thinking about what I'm thinking and what has happened to change my outlook on life. = /

Is it a good thing that I'm free and easy with life? Is it good that I take up this happy, light hearted view in life? Or am I just being complacent with the things that I have now.

I just came up with a new philosophy. Jealousy spurs competition. Thinking again, it seems pretty true. Why does competitors go all out to defeat their rivals? Jealousy. Ego. Pure dumbness. Okay. Maybe not the last one.
But I still believe that jealousy does spur competition.

I love kissing metal. To be specific, a trumpet. Yeah! I just had a weird dream that my parents decided to give me a trumpet! And they were discussing where and when to go buy it. And I was like thinking.. "Huh? Are they serious? Wait.. Do they know how to pick one?" And suddenly.. POOF~! I'm awake.

Ok.. Pretty dumb dream. But it confirms something. I'm thinking about trumpets too much. Oh and.. Too many afternoon naps. X D

Long time no update. This place is rotting. There's no life in here whatsoever.

Ugh. Prelims have started. I've just started studying for the papers. In other words, I'm dead.

I've been to the band room these few days. Miss playing the trumpet. I realised that I sound terrible plus horrible. UGH! So what if I can hit high G ?

What is a trumpeter without a good tone?
A Terrible plus horrible trumpeter.

That's me.

I'm a jack of all trades but a master of none. = / Oh well. I'll just let things take its course..

I feel insignificant. Oh well, I always feel insignificant.
Practiced the pieces for this Sunday's concert on my own just now.. I still am not able to last through the whole repertoire. Got to buck up and get my gears in motion before sunday.

I'm irritated by some people. I'm frustrated with myself.

I feel like a loser. Last friday's performance was a disaster. All my fault. Happily screwing up even the first note that came out of my bell on stage. Sad.

I wonder how I am in the eyes of others... Am I the victim of gossips? The target of vicious slandering? Am I being shot down like dear "Mr Carrot"?

I do not care, nor do I want to care. I don't care if I'm being labelled a self-centred bastard, or a useless geek.

= ) Xinfony VI's over. My 4 years of band in secondary school has ended. It was a pleasure having known such great seniors and lovely juniors. And not forgetting my bandmates who are also graduating..

Thank you for the wonderful concert. Thank you for the music. Thank you for the enthusiasm. Thank you all for the wonderful gifts that you have given me. Thank you for your time.
Thank you Mr Tan for all the effort you put into us. Thank you for your guidance that has led so many to love this big family that they are in.
Thank you all Teachers-in-charge for guiding us through whatever obstacles that come our way. Thank you for giving us your support.

And also, I have to say a very big SORRY to some people. Sorry to the band for treating you guys too harshly at times. Sorry to my section for not training you guys well. Sorry to my DM Yiang Shan for not training you to be the best. Sorry to my fellow band leaders for my inefficiency. Sorry for screwing up my solo during Xinfony. Sorry for ruining the Brass Quintet's performance.

And lastly, to all who have attended this year's wonderful concert, Xinfony VI, Thank you!

Great day today. Our lovely band members played their parts so well that Mr Tan was jumping with glee! ... ... NOT.

I'm not going into the details in my blog.

My throat is getting worse. All the lecturing today made my already-sore throat worse.

Hey Hey!! 16 more days to Xinfony VI. My last concert in XMSB. HOW SWEET!!!! I can't wait!!

Well, I'm pretty busy these few days. Having [ Brass Tutorials ] on mondays, [ Brass Quintet ] on tuesdays, [ Band ] on wednesdays, [Band ] on fridays, [ Band ] on Saturdays and [ Philyouth ] on sundays. This should be dragging on till August. Screwed up?

Plus O levels coming soon.. Revision was never so intensive...

Sighs.. I'll miss the days in class [ Debating ] with Mr Pah... I'll miss the days [ Smuggling ] food to class during recess.. I'll miss my classmates.. But I look forward to my graduation.

Will I come back to XMSB after that? Will I stay in contact with my classmates of this year? Time shall decide...

I've had enough of being ignored. Now on, I won't initiate a conversation or probe too much. I'll just occupy myself with studies and music.

Screw it. My comp is finally back online. School has reopened and everything is running smoothly.. Not.

Wee~ I love my trumpet tone. Really! It's so nice!! I'm one step closer to my dream sound! = D


Oh ya. I don't like the sound of trumpeters from Tokyo Kosei Wind Orchestra. Too bright for me.

I'm pissed.

I'm going to cut down on the "hahaz" and "LOlz" from now on. Kinda irritating don't you think?

'Cause it's a long, long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on calvary
Beneath those stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control
It's a long, long journey
Till I find my way home to you

SAddened. Am I just a tool to you? = (

Just now went Far East cut hair after brass tutorials. And I played less than 20 bars during the whole tutorial. Damn sian. =/ Practicing my growling, but I don't know if I'm doing it correctly. And I forgot to ask Matthew about it. Damn. My double and triple tonguing sux! Got to find time to practice it already. ZzzZ.

My hair is still ok la. Although it would look much better without the slope. Shouldn't have asked for slope. But to please my mum, sacrifice abit la. = )

After cutting hair, went to watch madagasca! Finally. Haha. The show is sooooooooo cute! Can't stand it. "I like to move it move it~"

Now rotting at home. Been stoning in front of the comp since 11.30. ZzzZ. Although online, but no one talks. It's so BorINg!!!! Argh.

Oh well. I better get going. Hope I can cover at least 10% of my holiday assignments today.

Sweet dreams everyone. Tata~

Why so much of these stuff? Its because I'm EXTREMELY BORED.

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more open with you.

With respect to money, you spend whatever you have.

You think good luck doesn't exist - reality is built on practicalities.

The hidden side of your personality tends to be a little selfish. You only do what interests you.

You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked.

When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you will search and search until you find your perfect match.

Who's the True You?

You Are 22 Years Old

22 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Sometimes it seems no one understands
I don't even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through?

After reading Ziwei's post (should be ziwei ba...) about his social life, I started thinking. What about my social life? I'm into too many commitments! Ah! Ok. This is one of the rare occasions where I let others have a little insight into my life.


Firstly, the friends from bands all over Singapore~.

Friends from 29th NCO Band Camp. YEah! Although there's very little people that I still keep in touch here, I still managed to maintain some very good friendships. I MISS 29 NCO PALS!!

Xinmin Band friends. I used to be very committed here. Last time always hang out with them, go movies, concerts bla bla bla. Now lesser liao..

Phil Youth friends. Not that close with them, but see them every week. My Sundays are dedicated to them and music. =)

SWS Youth Winds. Although I got KICKED out from there, there's still some contacts from there. But it seems that I already knew these great people that I still keep in contact with before going into SWS Youth Winds. =/

Band people that I got to know by chance. Through maplestory, IRC, MSN introductions, Friendster, bla bla bla. Its amazing how many band people there are out there.


Ok. After band friends, there's my beloved classmates! Yeah!

From primary school, most of my ex classmates that still keep in touch via msn. Ex bandmate (again), basketball freaks, and.. erm.. ya schoolmates. =X Oh ya. And my juniors. = )

From Sec sch, 1E3, 2E3 FrEAKs!! Although we weren't that united, but we still are friends!

3E7, 4E7 dudes! You're the best that ever happened to me. Never had I experienced so much fun together with my classmates. Although there were misunderstandings in the beginning and rivalry among ourselves, we still rawk!


And there are the daredevils from SPI! Bonded by our common interest in the paranormal!

Not forgetting my Magi friends from all walks of life.

Jugglers, magicians, flourishers, deck collectors. You guys add so much colour to my life. Thanks~!

Basically, thats where my friends are from. =)

Playing in philyouth is stressful because I'm not up to standard.
Playing in XMSB is more stressful because they are not up to standard.

Ironic.

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

;LSGAIHAFGWT4GVDGALJAGSDLHAGOURGSUEGU8OW409U4T2094308Y7B46389JLGJGAJKFGALHFDLHFOBJFBIOHEA9HEJRFVNEAIFV0F90UBJERFGNQAER90HG;DLSFKB9D8PHBV;LADSRKJGOPAERBVHOGD;RFIBV9APER8HVNEA;SDRNKVPAODR8HGA;OSDRBVGPA9D8RVH[A'EW4BFE'O48YVH98Q34PHO4EHVGE4NRV'OAERGH9834HGAOI4GHA348HGAO'I4NGA9348GAGSDJHIB456HGA938HGAO3ING4AODPRIFHIULAEGOPDI7OFVL;KJRNOPHIIYWA3FO;IEB48HUNHRXGUJBNERSO8BNHRIEOTHGPA9EIRGVA8ERVNP9ER8N9PERVP9ER8JHVO;ERNVOPEARSHNFVO;EARJGOPISRADJFVO;AESNV9PEARJDNGVOG;DARIJGVP0ASDFNVOG;ADH4GWH9N0E9HNW9JMYA4GRJ9MRHYXJ9MORYH9OJMNYHRXOPERJMONOHADFOIH34WOIH4RGIOIHG4RO84ETY8HI3E8YHI4ETG8O4O489E4TG8I43934O88O

Ok. I feel much better now.

Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong
I know I will falter I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long, long journey
And I need to be close to you

I've been feeling the blues lately. Maybe I'm just overly sensitive. Yiru, maybe it was a bad thing to let me in on some stuff. I'm overly observant now. Maybe this shouldn't have existed in the first place. Maybe...

It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you

I'm being torn apart from inside. Love, hatred, jealousy, fury, hopelessness, frustration. It feels terrible. Help me.

Sometimes, the window just looks so tempting. It's just so easy. Open the window and just step out. Everything would be over in a flash. Especially now. When I'm being tormented both physically and mentally.
How I wish it would end soon.

I feel unwanted. If you guys don't want me around, just tell me. I feel so extra. I'm just sticking out like a sore thumb. Maybe I don't belong to the clique. Maybe I should just revert back to being an individual out of individuals.

Something my friend said.. How true is it?

[smile] -who has 7th suite by alfred reed?- says:
haha but being a leader really isnt easy la..
[smile] -who has 7th suite by alfred reed?- says:
when u're good ppl dun rmb u, when u're bad, ppl nv bother to understand ur plight and they just know how to point fingers

I'm disappointed. Nothing else to say.

Well, audition is over. And I would like everyone to stop asking me not to be saD!!!!!!! because I am NOT SAD.

How come when someone fails something, the first reaction that comes to the mind of others is consoling that person. Who said failing is a sad thing?

For me, failing is ok. Failing is good. At least I can learn from my mistakes and know where to improve on.

Today went to PhilYouth practice. SIght read Phatom of the Opera and Les Miserables. Had sectionals on Les Miserables. Screwed up the numerous sharps and flats. Ugh.

And its 6 more days to Audition. I STILL HAVE NOT PRACTICED THE SCALES!!! And pieces too. But well, the pieces should be ok.

Saturday totally rawkz.

Went to school for chinese in the morning. Got my paper 2 marks. 33.5 / 80 . Nice.

Went to Orchard to meet Wenjie after that. Left my bag and stuff in the band store though. We went to watch Kingdom Of Heaven. I found it really nice. Shows how stupid humans can be. Also shows how loyal and brave one can be.

Then we went walking around orchard looking for the bus-stop where Wenjie can take his bus 171 to NJ and I can take my 190 to RGS to catch the magic show. We walked from Cine towards Wisma and all the way up till I don't know where. Then we did a couple of turns and walked till a place that looks like Holland V. Then continue our loong walk and ended up back behind Wisma. UGh. Then finally found the bus stop directly outside Orchard MRT. How fun. We did one big round around Orchard. Ugh.

Well, I reached RGS and Ren Hui came out to bring me to the auditorium. It was still pretty early at around 6pm. The show starts at 7pm. Watched Edwin, Mac, Justin, Zilin, Wenyi and Ren Hui messing around with lame stuff. Then they were eating pizza. I've lost appetite from the long "march" to the bus-stop. So I didn't eat. Haha. Then I found out that the magicians - Edwin, Mac and Justin have not rehearsed their routines. Wow. And guests were already arriving.

The show went on smoothly. The 7pm show was more of a warm up. The audiences were not very lively though. The next show started at around 8.30pm. Had a row of female hecklers! (what the?!) Haha. This time things were generally more lively and there were plenty of interaction between magicians and audience.

And I stayed for both shows. Wow.

After the shows, we went to Orchard MRT together. We boarded bus no. 132. Being the same blur me, I thought we were on 190 and wanted to stay on board the bus after the gang dropped off at Far East. Ugh. Utter loss of face.

Then I went Seng Kang to meet Clement and Siyang and we well, saw Siyang home. Then I and Clement went to a table at the void deck and played with fire.

Nothing much after that. Ran home in the rain and Clement caught a cab.

All fired up and ready for action!

21st May will be the day where I finally know where I stand. 21st May will be the day where I am judged. 21st May will not be a repeat of the Philyouth auditions. 21st May will not be another incidence of the trumpet practical examination. 21st May will be a boost to my music experience. 21st May.

Whether I'm in or out doesn't matter. Or so I say. What counts is the experience. To know that I have tried my best. Failure is an option. But it will not be my option of choice. But if I do fail, I will fail with no regrets. What is most rewarding is not the admission to SYWO or the lost of "face" of not getting in. What is most rewarding is the priceless experience and knowledge that this exposure gives.

With this bait dangling right in front of me, I'm going for it.

Fading away. The old me is fading away. Where has the dumb idiotic joker gone to? When I needed you most, you weren't there. You left me to fight this battle alone. I need you. I can't win this battle with only half of me.

Guess I can't carry a facade permanently. Don't blame me if I close up. That was whats behind the joker all along.

I'm just plain irritating. I knew it right from the start.

Ok. I went for Philyouth practice just now. After half a month of not touching my trumpet, I almost couldn't play! Ah!! It seriously freaked me out. I think I've lost my embouchure too. Got to find it back before the recording and before the audition.. Sianz..

I've decided to go for it. Whether I get in or not doesn't matter. Hope Ray goes for the SYWO audition too. Then the 3 trumpeters from Xinmin will go for the audition together! Yeah!

I really enjoyed myself today.. First time my friends actually do something for me... So touched..

The following audition materials are listed as guides (not requirements) in each major field. Applicants may also be asked to perform at sight a composition selected by the examination committee. Composition majors, in addition to submitting written materials, are expected to have a reasonable level of proficiency in a performance area and in music theory.


BRASS INSTRUMENTS

All instruments: Major and minor scales

Trumpet

Arban Trumpet Method or any of the Characteristic Studies

One of the following, all movements:

• a) Hummel Trumpet Concerto
  
• b) Haydn Trumpet Concerto
  
• c) Hindemith Sonata for Trumpet and Piano, or a solo of comparable difficulty
  

Two excerpts from the standard orchestral audition literature

Transpositions at sight

Requirements for Yong Siew Toh Conservatory of Music.... Train hard!!

A jack of all trades but a master of none. Am I really a jack of all trades?

Teachers can don't press so hard? Its like first day back from SYF and its chasing us for homework. Can you spare a thought for us? We train so hard into the night everyday. Reach home all sweaty and tired. All worried about SYF. How to complete homework? Unless you want us to work into the wee hours of the night and sleep in class the next day.

We are already stressed by the fact that we got a silver and all other aesthetic groups got gold. Stop stressing us with homework now. Give us time to catch up! Keep pressing us and I think we will breakdown sooner or later. Don't make Xinmin appear on the newspaper headlines - "Student commits suicide over school stress".

Disappointed but not sad... Feel pity but shed no tears... Feel anger, not hopelessness... Rouse that fighting spirit within you... The silver is but an illusion. All of you know your capabilities. They extend further than the constrains of a gold with honour award. Dream far. Dream big..

Woohoo!!! 10 days to SYF!! Yay! How exciting can this be!!

I'm sooooo excited about SYF!!!! The feel of playing in the Singapore Conference Hall in front of the judges and other schools. Wow!!! Its SOOOO fun!!!

I'm just so high now!!! Can't wait for SYF!!! = D

I'm in love with my ever-improving trumpet tone...

On MC today but might go down to SCH for the rehearsal later..

And recently, there is an unknown guest by the name of Wen Hui in the band blog and my blog. She seems to have something against me but I have absolutely no idea on what I have done to offend her. She goes around tagging other people's tagboard and giving very constructive comments on everything.

I'm not jealous or whatever. I'm just thoroughly impressed by her intelligence and her fantastic grasp of the english language. *Applause*

If you got any problems just say it out instead of going around and POLLUTING other people's tagboards.

Ugh I feel bad bad bad... Since this morning, my stomach has been aching like crazy. At first I thought it was the usual gastrics but when it lasted all the way till afternoon, I knew something was wrong.

Just visited the doctor's... He said it was nothing serious and prescribed me some medicine.. And a antiviral which was meant to chew.. The best part was that the anti viral is banana flavoured!! now how weird is that.. Haha... And I have an MC for tomorrow.. Should I go to school?... Still considering...

Ok... gotta stop here.. pain is coming back again argh....

To hell with politics. I'm staying out of it once this mess is cleaned up.
In the meantime... here is what I plan to get in the near and not so near future.
My wishlist:
1) Fire wallet aprox. $60
2) New age invisible deck $52
3) Trumpet Valve Guard US$8.95
3) Pro-Tec Deluxe Trumpet Gig Bag $85.59
4) Bach Stradivarius Bb Trumpet LT180 series Still checking price

Pricey huh... well, gotta start saving now =)

Ok. Thats the limit. No more closing of one eye to all this shit that is happening. Shoot me if you want. I don't care.

To all sweet little angels out there who think being a leader is so simple:

There are many cases of leaders being accused of things they did not do. Or maybe things that they did but was blown out of proportion because well.. They are leaders and are supposed to be "PERFECT".

In my humble opinion, leaders are also humans. And as the saying goes... 'It is human to err'.. So what makes a leader so different? Unless you tell me that he/she is NOT human which is highly unlikely.

So what if there are a few mistakes made here and there? Will those mistakes kill you? Will they cause the whole world to spin out of orbit? No right?

Why cause the leaders to get ultra stressed and make them loose sleep? How would you feel if some asshole came along and keep disturbing you until you have no sleep for weeks.

What makes you think that you have the right to criticise others like that? Please reflect on your attitude and change your ways.

I am speaking on behalf of all frustrated and pissed-off leaders of XMSB.

The band camp is just tomorrow and I haven't packed anything. I just don't feel the kind of excitement like it used to be in the past. Now the camp feels like a chore. Something I don't wish to do. Something that I'm forced to do. Ok... Enough crap about xinmin band..

There was PY sectionals today... Kinda worried cause my slurring and compound rhythms sux.. With the concert coming up in a few weeks, time IS running short. Gotta improve my slurring.. REMOVE THE INBETWEEN NOTES!!! AHHH!!!! ok.. as for the rhythms thing... Guess I'll just.... depend on my instincts..

Was I the one who wanted to be SL? Was I the person running around with a sign over the head saying "I WANT TO BE SL OF THE FUCKING SECTION"?

And what happened? I got placed as the SL!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK.. Its not like I wanted to be SL... I was FORCED into being SL... SL post AND BL post.. FUCK IT..

And today I was told that the SL is not the best player. Not some FUCKERS who know music. BECAUSE the best player would be called the STAR PLAYER. Not some FUCKING SL .

Being SL means being responsible for the fucking section. With the determination to help the FUCKING section improve. Like what the FUCK? How am I going to do that without music knowledge? Why me instead of some FUCKERS who got bloody high grades for music? Just because they have too much on their hands? Don't I have responsibilities too? Don't I have a FUCKING life to lead? My life is not all about band band band. I have a social life too. I have to study just like every other FUCKERS in school.

Now what the FUCK can I say? I did not ask to be the SL. I was FORCED to be the SL. I did not ask for this FUCKING responsibility. I was FORCED to bear the responsibilities. How FUCKING fair is this? In my opinion, not fair at all.

Other section leaders have handed down their responsibilities to their juniors. And me? I'm still FUCKING stucked with some FUCKING responsibilities that I did not even want to have in the first place. How FUCKING fun is that.

And 32 more FUCKED up days of torture. 768 FUCKING hours of agony. 46080 FUCKING minutes of pain. 2764800 more FUCKING seconds of fury.

Giant Fan

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WAHAHA.. Cool eh? Giant fan done by me using my black tiger! ROAR!!

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Life sux... I mean seriously, it sux.. the only place i felt peace in the past is now filled with competition and hostility...

Its not my wish to dislike band but thats what happening now. Seriously turned off by some people in xinmin band. Things might not have turned out this way if i was never that enthusiastic in band. Things might turn out better but chances are slim...

Sought solace in an outside band, phil youth, but was forced to keep xmsb as priority. Cant even go for philyouth practice on 26th march because of one fucking rehearsal. Well, as brando said, will one practice determine how well the concert is? I will state my reply here.. Will one rehearsal at SCH determine the colour of the SYF results? it is the continuous practice that determines the result. NOT one rehearsal at the competition venue.

"SL!! DO YOUR JOB!!" see la.. kena scolding again.. Its not like I wanted to be SL... I was FORCED into being SL... as you see, the PRO in xmsb trumpet section is already a student leader, band leader and brando's right hand woman.. how can she possibly add another post, another responsibility to her already heavy burden? thats why I was forced to be the SL.. Not like I have too much free time to spare.

School work is choking me to death, literally. Teachers are expecting so much of us that they are pushing us beyond our limits. It is like.. "YOU GET A1 OR YOU FUCK OFF" kind of attitude now.. AHH STRESS..

how fucked up can this school be? studying in XINMIN is just like being placed under house arrest. No this, no that. no books under table, no lockers, no food AND drinks in class, no skipping of cca, no fucking around with the teachers.. fuck it.. the school as our second home? like how fucking true is that..

Sorry people for not updating for such a long time. Secondary 4 life has been keeping me busy. Well, CNY is here and I would like to wish everyone a happy CNY and may things go smoothly for all of you. And Valentines Day is just round the corner. I would like to wish all couples all the best in their relationships. As for me, I will make use of the time to prepare myself for the coming Os and might not blog that frequently now. You'll probably see my next post in late March. =)