13th March 2007
Tuesday
...that one thing that will make my life worth living...

Pardon me if this post is going to sound depressing. I ain't my best today. This post is inspired by what somebody said just now. I can't really remember what he said, but what he said made me blog this entry.

How many people actually achieve something in life?
How many people can lie on their deathbeds with a smile, and proudly say that he or she has lived life without regrets?
How many people can live life without fearing death because they know they have already achieved what they meant to achieve?

The answer I'll give to these answers - Almost none.



People always say they want to achieve something great, they want to make it big. But most of them just say it. Do they actually know what they want to achieve? What do they want to make big? So, they are saying they want to achieve something. And that "something" can be anything. Quite a directionless statement.


We live each day, in search of a way to achieve "something" of a certain value that is worth recognition. We live each day, in search of that one thing that will give our life meaning. In search of that one thing that will make all our suffering and injustice all worth it.


When we know what is it that we seek, we can take initiatives in accomplishing these desires, our targets become what we know as goals. These goals give us a direction in life. They give us meaning in life. Goals give us a reason in life. In short, goals give us life. Without goals, life will be directionless. Life will be meaningless.



Having said this much, I have a confession to make. I have not found my desire in life, so forget about having a goal. I live life a day for a day. And each day I criticise my thoughts and actions. Each day I end up thinking and regretting having wasted another day of my life. I think about ending this meaningless life.


But then I remember about the one thing that will make my life worth living. Maybe that thing, whatever it is, does not exist. Maybe I have already found it, just that I have not realised it yet.



No matter what, I will continue searching for the reason to my existence.


Life is a privilege. Not an obligation.
-Hanyong