Friday, October 26, 2007
Blogging about nothing
Saturday
Blogging about nothing
Usually when people blog, they have in mind something to write. But what happens when nothing comes to mind? On such occasions, such as this one, you just click open the new post page, start off with your usual dates and titles and stuff and just type whatever comes to your mind. If you are lucky, words will start flowing. If not, cross your fingers and pray that the words will flow soon.
Everyone encounters Writers' Blocks. Even the author of best selling novels happen to have days where no words flow from their pens. Even so, you have to do what you have to do. As a writer, you have the responsibility of feeding your readers with fresh new works regularly. Even if it is a short passage of only a few lines.
Some people might retort to blogging about their personal feelings about someone or something that happened during the day. Others might prefer to focus on a obscure topic which have manage to evade the spotlight until now. Some might just go on and on about stuff that are not of importance.
There isn't anything big happening today except that I had a pretty weird dream last night. It is fascinating how dreams can defy all forms of logic.
I was in a lift with my former girlfriend and a huge crowd of old classmates. Then some JC students tried to squeeze into the lift, causing the lift to overload. The 'intruders' tried again and again to get on the lift. Getting pretty annoyed, my ex stormed out of the lift with a group of people and went to take the LRT. The lift went up, and I got out and hopped onto another train with the intention of chasing my ex. Somehow the ride ended up in a HDB block and I entered a plain looking flat. I went in and a guy tried to beat me up. And I got into a pretty serious fight with him that ended with me smashing his head into the wall and breaking his neck. My brother called the ambulance and police and carried on watching TV. My whole family was there, but none of them seem bothered by what was happening. After the murder, I simply switched on my laptop and blogged about some stuff (the contents were pretty fuzzy, I can't remember).
Weird? I guess that's an understatement. Heh. I probably had too much knowledge from Chee Hao in the evening.
Well then. In one of my lectures, my lecturer mentioned that the world is governed by physical laws and we will be concerned with 3 laws in this module (mechanics of flight). So a random thought comes to my mind (as always). What happens if one of these laws is broken?
Newton's second law of motion. F=ma. Everyone is pretty familiar with this formula right? What if suddenly, it is discovered that force is equivalent to the product of mass and acceleration for cases, but there are occasions where the force is not equivalent to the product of mass and acceleration.
How will the modern world react? Will all our schools of mechanics suddenly falter and fail? Will our scientists of today despair and abandon hundreds of years of research? Will mankind revert back to the stone age and slowly redefine every single law that has ever been discovered?
In the wake of such thoughts, I am compelled to compare this turmoil with our daily life. We are so used to taking things for granted and if one day, one element of our life disappeared. What will we be? The air-conditioning unit that we rely on every day. The newspaper that is widely available all over the country. What happens if one day, they went missing? Will the traffic run as usual? Will work still carry on? Will that ba chor mee vendor still sell his ba chor mee?
In life, nothing is certain. Life does not have a 3 year warranty to fall back on if anything goes wrong with it. Even if someting goes wrong, you have to live with it. That includes the planet we live on. For how many centuries have Man taken their homes for granted? Global warming now stands at our doorsteps with a warrant to confiscate our homes. Forget all those charts and bar graphs that you see on documentaries. Feel the air around you. Notice the increase in temperature? Recently, the increase have been so obvious that you can even feel the heat from within an air-conditioned room.
The end of this age is near. Make full use of your remaining time and eat a few more bowls of laksa before the end hits.
"Life does not have a 3 year warranty to fall back on if anything goes wrong."
-Han Yong
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Is a bad post of a good blog considered a good post?
25th October 2007
Is a bad post of a good blog considered a good post?
For the general public who reads my blog occasionally, I apologise for the senseless rambling and swearing that I have been posting up ever so regularly. Life really gets to me sometimes. But there are the other times where I decide to hang back a little and do a bit of random thinking. Here's something that has been sticking around the insides of my head for a bit.
Is a bad post of a good blogger considered a good post? And vice versa, is a good post of a bad blogger considered a bad post?
Well, most of the time, people classify the people they know into good and bad. We have been taught to do things this way since young. Similarly, things that we come into contact with are also split into black or white, tall or short, fat or thin, good or bad, nice or awful, beneficial or harmful.
One day, you stumble upon a blog that is owned by a blogger who uses powerful english, writes with a distinct personal style and writes about interesting content. Instinctively, you give him a big G. (G for GOOD.) And you decide to stick his blog in your favourites tab. Each week you check back his blog and reads about interesting stuff such as politics, ironic comments, life philosophies, dumb relationships, short stories, etc. But one fateful day, you click on his link, and you find this latest post a load of crap. His grammar is all wrong, his sentence structures are worse than a 4-year-old kid (3-years-old is too common already), and worst of all, even a technical paper on how the propulsion system of a V2-Rocket works is more interesting than the content of his post.
You spend 27 minutes reading through this piece of junk which comprises of 576 randomly placed words and wonder why do you even bother reading his blog. Then you notice his link in your favourites tab. And you remind yourself that this person is a good writer with interesting comments. And so you battle with yourself whether this is considered a good post, or is it just a jumble of crap.
Interestingly, while you were trying to grade his latest post, you read an acquaintance's blog who is reknowned for being totally mundane and crappy. You notice that his latest post is one that catches your attention immediately and keeps you attached to the screen for 13 minutes. In this 13 minutes, you are ready to slap another G-grade on this post. But you suddenly remember that this post belongs to a B-grade blog (B for BAD). And so you question yourself whether this is considered a good post, or is it just a lucky break for a B-grade writer.
What is it that makes you decide whether a post is G-grade or B-grade? Is it the place where it is posted at? Or is it the individual post that counts? Can a writer who has been plaguing his blog with junk suddenly come up with a wonderful post? Is it possible that someone who has been a straight A's student suddenly produce a post that manages to bore 99.52% of his audience half to tears?
Hmm. And after all these, I wonder if this post is a bad post of a good blog or a good post of a bad blog. (Btw most of this post is written in a second person narrative style.)
"Why is it always Black or White, and not Black and White?"
-Han Yong
Monday, October 22, 2007
The truth about lying about the truth
Sunday
The truth about lying about the truth.
I really am pretty selfish I guess. For my own benefits, I am even willing to leave others in the lurch and turn my back on them. Well, it is human to be selfish, no? Even with all that past posts against self pity, I still manage to find ways to get by by resolve. And again posting more posts with content which fails to address the problems that stand right in front of me. What problems? Well, if only I could answer this question, maybe I will find my selfishness justified.
Self justification. Yet another way to conceal my failure in judgements. To deceive my self into believing that the selfishness was needed. Studies is more important. Do I really believe in that? Since when have I treated studies with importance? I conceal the truth with lies. And I conceal those lies with the truth I want to believe. This post might well be one of the lies I create to hide my truths.
Yiyang, Weiren, and the other few who always describe me to be someone I am not. I find myself unworthy of the praises you guys bestow on me. Because I am not the person you think I am. If I can do those things you guys have mentioned before, I would gladly accept those praises. But it isn't true! Stop treating me like someone high up. Because right now, I am at rock bottom. The more you guys raise my hope, the harder the fall will be. I have fallen enough times. I am afraid to fall again. Who knows whether I will be able to climb back up onto my feet the next time I fall.
No I am not breaking down.
I am not bursting with depression.
Nor am I agitated.
Perhaps I am demoralised.
Perhaps my belief has been jousted.
Christine, you said that you felt that I want to put studies first. Is that true? I do not have a response to to that statement. Maybe subconciously I feel the need for my studies to act as a cover for my mistakes. Studies is the easiest excuse one can get to cover up any mistakes. But if you lie to yourself too much, you will end up believing that the lie is the truth. Is that happening to me now? Am I taking a lie as the truth? Or am I taking the truth as a lie?
I am baffled. At 2.52am in the morning, I read my words over and over again, hoping to see some real reason behind my decisions.
Am I questioning the morality of my actions? Yes I suppose I am. I suppose I am looking for excuses by consulting others. "Maybe someone will give me a excuse for why I am behaving like that." Am I thinking that? Or maybe it goes along the lines of "I hope someone will kick me between the legs and push me back to where I should be." Hopeful? Delusioned? Pure dumbness?
Am I facing my demons now, or am I simply adding another demon to their ranks? In trying to face my past, am I forcing myself to see a future? By showing myself a possible future, am I hoping to forget the past? By believing that the life is simply a lie, am I deluding myself of my identity?
How many years have I been seeking excuses? "Everything run according to Murphy's law." "People seek to bar me from my dreams." "I feel like a bird trapped in a cage." "The balance is wrong." Even when trying to be true to myself, I lie. Whether it is lying to myself, or to others. The fact is that a lie is a lie.
On the topic of lies, how sure are we that we are not living in a lie? Maybe the transparency we learnt about in Social Studies were a part of a big lie. Maybe the government is lying about their policies and the fairness in the courts are part of an even bigger lie. How can we be sure that the truths that we know as the truth are really truths?
How sure are we that non-fiction is not really fiction being portrayed as non-fiction?
Liars go to hell. Well, that might well be a lie of its own. Maybe they lied about going to hell. Maybe all the liars went to heaven. And because they didn't want too many people in heaven, they lied about going to hell.
"Whoever said heaven was a good place? Maybe they lied too."
-Han Yong
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Pangseh week.
Thursday
Murfee's Lawl.
Notice how some days just feel like everything is going wrong? Well, this week felt like Murphy's week to me. Everything is abiding Murphy's law like a good elementary school kid. Thinking positively, at least I have lots of things to rant and complain and get angry over. But it really upsets my schedule. Especially when you have people changing your appointments at the last minute.
My week has been pretty screwed up. Lots of tantrum throwing and complaining done over the past couple of days. The amount of things going wrong really baffles me. Well, I guess life really does follow through with Murphy's Law.
My timetable for this semester is a big Joke with a capital J. I will be with 4 differen classes for 3 different modules. And the best part is that my cohort has only 4 classes. What a great chance to study with all 4 classes during 1 semester! NOT. When I realised that fact, I was dumbfounded. Not only had I days with only 1 hour of lessons, I had to cope with studying with 4 different groups of people. And that is excluding my Events Management class.
Weird? Now look at this.
This week I have at least 5 cases of people cancelling a scheduled meeting at the last minute. I feel like a fool for looking forward to these appointments. Then when I am all ready to attend the appointments, they inform me that they cannot make it and arrange for another date. Same goes for tomorrow's fishing session. After borrowing the rod, they tell me that they going clubbing tomorrow night and not going to fish anymore.
Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. And I do hope that Murphy's Law goes wrong this time.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
School's back on Monday
Saturday
What a random evening. I have my previous tuition teacher suddenly calling me and asking if I am at Xinmin for some Alumni stuff. Then after a little bit of chatting, I found out that she was also from Xinmin! Such a small world. But it is kind of weird that it took me more than 3 years to find out.
Well, Xinmin has a long history. And with hundreds of students graduating each year, I find it hard to walk on the streets without bumping into someone who has either graduated from there or knows someone from there. And as always, I am proud of being from there.
Well, this blog post is long overdue. Time to write something which might interest you I hope. I guess this post will be one long summary of the entire holiday.
To start things off, here is something to entertain you. Watch the video and then continue reading.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fS9--cmJUmI
Cool?
Right. Back to my post.
School is starting on monday. After a 2 months break. Wow! Two months! Are you guys envious or what? But speaking truthfully, a long holiday is a bad thing. Firstly, you lose out on the few scraps of new knowledge that you know you will not be using. Secondly, you lose out on that cute girl which you always meet on the bus. Thirdly, you have one less reason to stick out your hand and ask for pocket money. Last on the negative list is the upset of balance within the body. Notice how day turns to night and night turns to day during holidays?
Sounds bad? Nevertheless, holidays are good opportunities to work and learn new stuff and make new friends. Holidays are good for clearing all the dramas and animes that you have downloaded but do not have the time to watch them. (One thing to take note of though, the dramas and anime will never get cleared completely. As you finish watching one title, another title is in your download list. The cycle keeps going on and on. And soon, your PC will be running out of space.)
My dive buddy is back from China! Now we can look at more diving trips, and hopefully a dive at the Singapore Underwater World with the sharks or dugong. I heard its a hell lot of fun there. But it is expensive as well. Sheesh. Why does my interests always have to be so taxing on my wallet?
I seriously can't get enough of the sea, so now I am into fishing as well! Maybe I will stick on with this new hobby, or maybe it will die out. I have no idea about how it will turn out. But fishing is fun! Even when nothing bites, it still is a great way to hang out with buddies with a pack of cold beer to go along.
During the holidays, I have become some sort of a counsellor to a few of my friends. It was okay in the beginning, but as time went by, my positiveness (which friends would know I have quite a small quantity of it) seem to have been drained by all the gloomy stuff I heard. Now I understand how frustrating it was for my friends to see me with a constant negative value for mood. No matter how much sunshine you pour into them, it just gets sucked in like a black hole. And the black hole just keep on sucking more out of you.
Well, over the past few days, I have made a realisation that whatever happened in the past happened in the past. And if we allow the past to be brought into the present, then we would be living in the past. Not the present. So in order to be living in the present, we have to let go of our past. But that is again in conflict with what we were taught. 饮水思源. It means that you remember the sources of the water as you drink it. (In other words, being thankful for your past.) Conflict?
Holidays are ending soon. I still cannot get that statement out of my head. If there is a hot chick in my class, I would be more than willing to get back to school. Problem is, there isn't any. No, I am not complaining about the girls in my class here. They are wonderful people. But not my type.
Oh, did I mention that I went to the library twice this month? No, not to pay fines. To borrow books. And I managed to grab hold of a copy of "Tuesdays with Morrie." Really interesting book. It totally lived up to my expectations after hearing so much about it. So, here's my recommended book of the week.
Tuesdays with Morrie
Morrie's are the most basic lessons, but in a world full of cynicism, consumerism, and disenfranchised people, they need to be given again and again: Take time to stare out the window instead of at your computer screen. Laugh. It's natural to die. Love is how you stay alive. The lessons he give are simple. Yet many of us do not realise the importance of it.
Taken from a CNN book review:
Take a look around you and breathe in deep. You live only for the moment.
"Tuesdays with Morrie" (TWM) is more than just a dying man's last words. It is an inspirational recount of a man's life -- a man whose passion for the human spirit has continued to live long after his last breath.
Some of Morrie's greatest insights are his views on how our culture plays into our lives. He spent his life creating his own culture, listening to his heart and doing what was right for him, versus what was right by society's standards. One problem he sees is that we tend to see each other as dissimilar rather than alike. We are taught to be independent and unique, but in reality we all have the same needs. He emphasizes investment in people, not things. When all is said and done, we will be
remembered not by our bank accounts or stock portfolios, but by the time we
spent listening to a friend or helping a family member.
Oh, and quit staring at the computer screen. You have a life to get on with.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Empire of the Sun
Monday
How long has it been since my last update? Quite long I suppose.
I just finished watching "Empire of the Sun" and I must say, it really is a nice movie. Moving away from all the usual Hollywood blockbusters gives movies a fresh feel. Although the movie was made 20 years ago, the simplicity of it still manages to captivate the audience.
Here's a short synopsis of the film. Empire of the Sun is a movie about a child growing up within the period of World War II in China. The film follows his journey through the rough times as he ventures from his home to the internment camps. It provides a glimpse of the war through the eyes of a maturing boy.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Time off practicing.
Wednesday
My lips are not exactly in the best condition today. Somehow pitching is all over the place and slurs are pretty messed up. I need more practice. So I will not be updating for a while now.
Be back when I be back.