Booze beat the blues

18th September 2007
Tuesday

Late at night, early in the morning. What is the difference? Both refer to the same thing - the hour where the world sleeps. Everything is quiet. There is no disturbance in the still night save an occasional vehicle. But a shuffle breaks the tranquility of the night. Who goes there? One lone man walks down the road, paying no heed to the ghosts that haunt him.

Who is this man? What is he doing here at this hour? A bartender closing down for the night stares at this stranger in disbelief. There was something special about him. A deep sadness exuded from within him. A desolated soul, ready to tarnish anything cheery. But the man walks on, unhindered by the bartender.

Bus stops after bus stops he passed, with no destination in mind. It seemed as though his ghosts had possessed him. But how could that be? Ghosts of memories had no spiritual powers. Memories were just memories. Ghosts of the past have no say in the making of the present. And the man walked on, paying no attention to the minutes that were slipping into hours.

Dawn approaches steadily. The man was still walking. *Beep* Instinctively, he reached into his coat pocket and drew out his cell phone. 'One message received.' Carrying on with his aimless wandering, he absent minded-ly read the message.

With a nimble flick of his fingers, he slid the cell phone back into the coat pocket. He picked up his pace and headed off into the night, leaving behind a faint scent of alcohol and a ring he accidentally dropped.

After a whole evening of relaxing, I am finally back at home. My scales are not fully prepared, my method books are not photocopied, my Arban exercises are practiced only around two thirds or so, my buzzing exercises are not as fluent as I would like them to be. My lesson is tomorrow. So please tell me whether I am screwed, or I am screwed. I know I asked for it myself. I had the time, I had the practice venue. But I chose to do something else rather than practice. But I guess it is inevitable.

Without this much needed break, I will surely break. Finally I had my dose of booze to beat the blues. And also today's outing really brought back some ghosts of the past. Ghosts that I have been trying so hard to banish, especially these days. Thanks to Ms Fish, I made it clear to myself about some matters that I have been especially muddle headed about. Life should be much simpler from now on.

As for the above "narrative", as some would call it, I have no idea how it will be heading. Most probably it will end up in the trash can again along with my other "half-baked" ideas. But at least it is something to keep my mind on along with my trumpet.

"Ghosts of the past have no say in the making of the present."
-Han Yong