30th July 2007

Monday

The world is a fair place. It is just that the stuff that happens to you aren't.



Well, I am currently waiting for a hint from god. Why is it so hard to do the things that you like without having to feel apprehensive? I knew there would be many discouraging remarks. But what bothers me most is the confusion that comes from within.

22nd July 2007
Sunday


Wenjie said this. We are not the sort of people who can look at our past posts and reflect on them, changing our outlook on life. Instead, we look at our past, and we sink back into the pitholes of emo-ness. Well, maybe the word "emo" has been inscribed in our souls since long ago. 拿得起，放得下. Can I do that?


Playing the trumpet used to be purely enjoyment and all fun. Now, it has gotten so competitive that I fail to see the passion for music anymore. You get bitched about if you are too good. You get looked down upon if you are not good enough. So what to do? Quit as a musician? Looking at the way the band scene is really baffles me. So much bitching even among members of the same band.


Anyway, a random piece of information. Up to date, I have performed with
Xinmin Symphonic Band in Xinfony III, IV, V, VI, VII(as alumni).
Xinmin Symphonic Band in Kaleidoscope, Xinmin festival of the Arts (as alumni)
Philharmonic Winds and Youth Winds in Death and Life.
Philharmonic Winds and Youth Winds in some combined concert.
Philharmonic Winds and Youth Winds in Beautiful Sunday 5 Mar 06
Philharmonic Youth Winds in Beautiful Sunday 14 Aug 05, 8 Oct 06
Kim Seng Wind Symphony (Can't remember the concert details)
Anderson Junior College in Spiritanto X - The Odyssey
Anderson Junior College in Spiritanto XI
Nanyang Polytechnic Symphonic Band in Sinfonia
Ngee Ann Polytechnic Concert Band in Rondeau 21
Ngee Ann Polytechnic Concert Band in Pops 'N' Classics


17 Concerts. Well, I guess that number will keep rising until the day I finally set my trumpet aside.


"No passion. No lust. Just... Serenity. For once, I felt happy."

This line comes from a play which I just watched recently. Entitled Happy Endings: Asian Boys Vol 3, this play touches on subjects that are considered sensitive in this uber conservative society. Telling a story from within a story, the play touches a raw nerve and hits on emotions and memories that have been stowed away. Indeed, there is no passion, nor is there lust after watching the play. For a while, there is just serenity and a sense of bittersweet happiness.

Back to embouchure changes.
My playing on the new spot has improved by a little bit, but control is still impossible. Maybe it really is better to train under David Smith.


I was sane until you appeared in my life.

21st July 2007
Saturday

Christine, I am making this choice because I know I must prioritise. It might seem that my workload is nothing compared to that of a President's, but still, I have 2 bands and a hell lot of Fs for my results.

Changing embouchure is difficult. To maintain my former standard without returning to the old embouchure is impossible now. But in order to become better, I think it is something I have to do. Better now than never.

15th July 2007
Sunday
Great job XMSB!


Well, Xinfony VII is over! I really dislike the feeling after a concert has ended. Relieved, but lost. The performance was not really at our best standard, but it is over already. So for now, the only thing to do is to get back to my books and catch up with everybody else.

Good job XMSB!



Remember how people always say that it is better to give than to receive? Trust me. They are right.

On the 1st of July 2007, I parted with my long hair for a good cause. The Children's Cancer Foundation held an event called Hair For Hope with the sole motive of raising funds for needy children cancer patients. Many brave men and women parted with their hairs. You might think that the shavees will be totally upset when their hair fell. But the smiles on their faces told a different story.

You see, when you do good, you feel good. After I shaved, I felt a serenity within me, for I knew that I had changed not only physically but also emotionally. After eighteen years, I have finally begun to understand the meaning of empathy and sharing.

"True goodwill comes from within."
-Han Yong

14th July 2007
Saturday
Ember's glowing bright.

I hate being a clown. I hate being an object of amusement to other people. I hate being laughed at by people. I hate being their source of entertainment.

To those who laughed at my new image, fuck you.
To those who laughed at me when I joked around with you, fuck you.
To those who laugh at whatever I do, fuck you.
To those who treat me as a source of entertainment, fuck you.

Fuck you, your father, your mother and your whole family. I have enough shit without you adding on to the pile. Pardon me if I punch you in the eye.

Okay. Done for the day.

12th July 2007
Thursday
AWOL

Here to destress after reading some stuff that I thought I had already gotten over. And also because of the really screwed up rehearsal just now. Sigh.

People create their social reality based on their own perceptions and interpretations of the world around them.

Do you agree?

First, we need to look at the definition of perception.

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, perception is the process of acquiring, interpreting, selecting, and organizing sensory information. The word perception comes from the Latin perception-, percepio, meaning "receiving, collecting, and action of taking possession, apprehension with the mind or senses."

Basically it means that perception is the process of understanding the information being transmitted to your brain from your sensory organs, referring to the sense of sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch. This is the process that evaluates the information and organises it into something comprehensible.

But can we trust the sensory information that we are receiving? Irish philosopher George Berkeley theorized that individuals cannot know if an object is, individuals can only know if an object is perceived by a mind. He stated that individuals cannot think or talk about an object's being but rather think or talk about an object's being perceived by someone; individuals cannot know any "real" object or matter "behind" the object as they perceive it, which "causes" their perceptions.

You are looking at an apple. Your senses tell you that the apple is red. Your senses tell you that the apple is solid and has a smooth surface. But to what extent is that information trustworthy? For all you know, the "apple" might be a plastic model used to depict how an apple is like. The apple we identified is an apple constructed out of the information from our senses. Thus, the apple is an idea constructed out of the information we have gathered.

How does the mind so readily constructs the idea that the object is an apple and it is red? It is because we have encountered so many red apples that we have come to a conclusion that an object with such a shape and colour is an apple. And it is a red apple. From past experiences, we also know that red apples are sweet. But there is no basis in that statement. We can easily identify the object's physical being. But we have no guarantees that what we know from past experience will apply in present and future cases.

Applying what we now know to the main topic for this thread, we can read it as "People create their impressions of the world based on their ideas." It is therefore safe to say that the world is different for everyone. Since every object in the world is based on individual unique ideas that are unique to each person, the world is perceived differently by everyone.

This perception of the world is based on past experiences, cognitive construal, religion, and society. Past experiences lead the mind to develop thinking patterns that directly affects the perception of the person.

Example: If you have never seen an apple. Now you see a blue apple. The next time you see an apple, it is also blue. And so is the apple you see on your third time. Based on your past experiences, you have come to a conclusion that all apples are blue. This is because you have never encountered any apples of other colours.

Society puts pressure on individuals, imposing a limitation as to how much the perception of the world can differ among individuals. Under this pressure, social norms are created. Social reality is created. People trapped in this society pressure are forced to go with the mainstream.

After understanding the components in deciding whether people create their social reality based on their percecptions and interpretations of the world around them, I take the stand of disagreeing with the statement.

Social reality is born not of one person. But a group of individuals with similar ideology that forms a basic "public opinion".

9th July 2007
Monday
Happy Birthday Shuxiang!



In response to the many requests for a blog update, this post shall be one that will address all of the major and minor happenings of the past few weeks.



First off, blogging is starting to wear me out. Hah! (Ace excuse for not blogging) Everytime after I blog, it takes me a couple hour of sleep before I can recover full functionality of my brain. Blogging drains energy and brain juice. Oh man, even as I speak, I can feel my energy seeping away. Sucked into the void.



Next up is the issue of global conservation. As you all know, Live Earth concert has just ended. But the quest for saving the environment does not end there! We all have a part to play in conserving this planet which we reside in. This place called Earth.

Major issues aside, let's talk about Pops 'N' Classics! Well, the concert went smoothly, and the music was not too bad. I believe there is a major improvement as compared to previous concerts by NPCB. Also, the Outreach program was quite a success! Participants, I thank you all for your wonderful support and enthusiasm!

Preparation for Xinfony VII was not quite good though. Bugler's holiday sounded like crap. My fault. Tonguing, note length, pitching, endurance. Everything is screwed up. There is still time, I hope.

Tupq ivsujoh nf xjui zpvs bdujpot...

"Some wounds are deep."
-Han Yong